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. go with the flow .

July 31, 2011

Hey boos!

Loved reading about all of your quirky habitsΒ – it made me feel a lot less crazy. Kidding. Kidding πŸ˜‰

It seems like everybody has something that they’re pretty particular about when it comes to food, and honestly… I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter that you like to eat with a small spoon? Or that you eat your meals in a certain order?


Even if those kind of preferences didΒ arise at a time when you struggled with disordered thinking, as long as they’re no longer severe enough to interfere with your daily life, then I’m all for it.Β You like what you like, and if such simple things can make an experience more enjoyable, then hey… why not? It’s time to quit being so nit-picky and stop labelling every little thing as a problem.

I admit that I can be quite guilty of that myself, but more often than not, the little quirks that I notice don’t worry me because, when I look at the bigger picture, I see that everything is juuuuust fine. Take what happened this morning for example…

I’m sure that you guys know how much I loveΒ having my eggy bananafied oats for breakfast. I’ve been adding egg whites to my oats for so long that I couldn’t even remember what oatmeal tasted like without them; until this morning, that is, when I opened the fridge and saw…

No. more. eggs.

And this is exactlyΒ why I’m moving out – so people can’t steal my food. Kidding. Kind of.

The point is, no eggs meant no eggy oats, and no eggy oats meant no breakfast 😯

Kidding. Obviously. I wasn’t about to starve myself just becauseΒ someoneΒ (Mom. Dad… I don’t know which one of you it was, but I’m giving you both the stank eye…) was a meanie and took the last egg without telling anyone. SoΒ what’s a girl to do when she’s starving and her reason for living getting out of bed in the morning has been unfairly snatched away from her?

Go with the flowΒ and work with what she’s got…

The same, but different.

I cooked my oats as I always do, simply omitting the part where I add in the egg white (le boo 😦). To make up for the missing protein, I made a frosting by mixing protein powder with almond milk (a la Katie), and poured that over top before going to town with the almond butter and pudding goodness…

Did I enjoy it as much as my regular bowl? No,Β but it was still good.

Was it the end of the world? No,Β life went on, as it always does.

Sure, breakfast wasn’t as good as I would have liked it to be, but it was just one meal, and it did the job of satisfying my hunger and letting me go on with my day. Besides, it’s not like I’ll never eat breakfast again (Eee… how horrible would that be?).Β There’s always tomorrow to have my beloved eggy oats, buttttttt I figured…Β why wait that long… and cooked up a batch for dinner tonight…

Ahh. My day is complete πŸ˜€

Obviously, had the option been available to me, I would have chosen to have my eggy oats at breakfast. That would have been my preference. I like them. I want them. Nothing wrong with that. But if I can’t have them? Then IΒ go with the flow… and thatΒ is how I know that I’m recovered – because I’m able to adapt to unplanned circumstances. If something like this would have happened to me when I was in the depths of my eating disorder, you could betΒ that I would have been in the store buying eggs at 6 AM – there was no way I would have been able to handle such a “life-altering” change in my plans.

But now? Now I roll with the punches.

Another example. The other day, I had just finished eating my pre-workout snack…


[cottage cheese, banana, cinnamon, almond butter protein frosting]

…and was literally lacing up my sneakers so that I could head to the gym and get my workout in, when I got a call from my real estate agent saying that I needed to come in and sign some papers 😯

Could I do it later? No, it needed to be done now. But… but… fiiiiiiiine. Thanks to the joys of dealing with banks and endless amounts of paperwork, I didn’t end up getting my workout in that day, which is something that I would have completely freaked out about in the past. But such is life. Things come up. Plans get changes. Wrenches get thrown. And when that happens, all you can do is…

Go with the flow.

It’s not the end of the world if something doesn’t go the way you planned. There’s always tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. A bad situation can be turned into a good one. A frown turned upside down. You just have to be a little bit flexible and realize that different can still be good, even if it’s not what you originally wanted.

. – . – . – .

How do you handle it when your plans get thrown?Β Are you a “go with the flow” kind of person? Or do you have a hard time dealing with the changes?

92 Comments leave one →
  1. July 31, 2011 5:28 pm

    It’s taken me a while since I have always liked pre-planning/logistics/rule structure, but I can finally say that I’m game for spontaneity. I studied abroad in India during my junior year of college, mostly to shock myself into being spontaneous and letting go of the obsession I had with my routines that made it difficult for me to do anything else (when most of the time I wanted to but was confined by my routine compulsions).
    Yes, I still plan parts of my day but if something comes up it’s no longer stressful and I have the skills to adapt/substitute/whatnot. It’s life, you only live it once, and I personally don’t want every day to be the same mundane experience.

  2. July 31, 2011 5:29 pm

    I honestly feel like I’m able to “go with the flow” more nowadays. It’s a beautiful feeling.

  3. July 31, 2011 5:31 pm

    I’m a big planner, but since I also live in a little place I like to call “the world” my plans tend to get thrown off track quite often. With three siblings and two parents they’re are plenty of surprises! I think the past year I’ve managed to get better at going with the flow of things. When I’m at work I usually plan out what I’ll make when I get home for dinner. The other day I got home and my brother had finished off all the greek yogurt, which was gonna be a part of my dinner masterpiece. But I went with the flow and had hummus with my dinner instead πŸ™‚

  4. July 31, 2011 5:38 pm

    at the risk of sounding bizzare, go with the flow makes me think of two things. The Queens of the Stongage song/video annnd findig nemo (“just keep swimming!” hehe)

    No more food stealing at your baller new place! =) I’m jealous! I live with a human garbage disposal that always takes my favorite foods. lol

  5. July 31, 2011 5:40 pm

    it used to be impossible for me to go with the flow, but i’m learning and it’s getting easier now–a few months ago, no workout and no egg whites would have brought instant tears to my eyes and a bad mood to last for hours–it’s not worth it when there is so much to smile about!

  6. July 31, 2011 5:42 pm

    I used to FREAK OUT if someone took something I wanted to eat. Or even worse, if someone gave me something to eat that I didn’t intend on eating.. wowweee I would get so scared. I’m a lot better with that now. I’m a little less lenient about exercise, but more so than I used to be. I’m fine with taking an extra rest day here and there if I feel I need it, but I feel like I’m skipping cross country practice if I don’t get a workout in when I’m feeling good. Even if there are no formal practices right now, I feel like I need to do something!

  7. July 31, 2011 5:44 pm

    Learning to go with the flow is so important in recovery. I literally posted something this morning about how important it is to not feel like you have to adhere to the routines and schedules you make for yourself. Great minds think alike! Where do you get the caramel pudding by the way? What type is it?

  8. July 31, 2011 5:51 pm

    I’ve become so much better at going with the flow… it’s amazing how things can change and you learn to just DEAL with it. Congrats for flowin’ today, girl! At least you know you’re covered for the next 12 or so days with the eggs πŸ˜‰

  9. July 31, 2011 5:52 pm

    ahh i hate it when that happens! Sometimes it can get annoying when things don’t go the way we planned for it to, but I guess it’s life and it takes us in different directions all the time. I’ve learned over time that when plans get thrown, why waste time dwelling over it when it’s already done?… it’s best to just go with the flow πŸ™‚

  10. July 31, 2011 5:55 pm

    Hi lover!

    I am glad you tried protein frosting, but sad you did not love it! I love it with sunwarrior! its the BEST!!!!! Plus with almond butter mixed in too!

    Girl, I am so go with the flow, its how I have always been, I just do what makes me happy each day, love to the fullest each day, and roll with whatever is thrown my way ; )

    I hope you have a great night! Mike was VERY pleased on the Essie sale ; ) seeing that i usually spend 8 bux usually for one polish ; p

    good night! xoxo ❀

    • August 1, 2011 8:23 am

      Oooo no. I liked the frosting itself, just putting it on oats kind of made them too runny, and I like my oats dry lol. And yeah the prices on those polishes are craaaaaazy, but it’s so worth it πŸ˜‰

  11. July 31, 2011 5:55 pm

    ” that is how I know that I’m recovered – because I’m able to adapt to unplanned circumstances.” Love that and never thought about that being some sort of proof to being recovered. If things didn’t go according to plan back in the ED days, I would probably come close to tears and throw a bf. But now, yes I’d rather stick to the plan, but I understand that things come up and it’s okay to adapt to different situations. I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets bummed out to the max when breakfast isn’t in the range of perfection!

  12. sarah permalink
    July 31, 2011 5:58 pm

    I pretty much suuuuck when it comes to going with the flow:/
    I’m maybe a tad better with the food aspect than I have been , but I’m very rigid with my exercise plans- I think ill always be struggling/ striving to get a better balance with exercise and not letting my life revolve around it.
    I actually find soaking my oats overnight prior to cooking(I do this everytime I have oats) gives a similair- not exactly the same, but GOOD!-texture to using an egg white. I don’t actually like oats at all without doing this!

  13. July 31, 2011 6:09 pm

    I’m a little late, but I was reading through your post from yesterday and it reminded me of how when I was younger I used to make sure I chewed everything I ate equally on each side of my mouth. Talk about weird eating habits! But on to today’s topic, I think I’m very go-with-the-flow, but for me it took moving in with someone to really get me out of my “stuck” ways. Other people don’t always stick to your plans.
    I’m a new-ish reader by the way, and I absolutely love your blog!

  14. Rose permalink
    July 31, 2011 6:10 pm

    I know this is a random question but where did you get those little bowls? They’re so cute πŸ™‚ .

  15. July 31, 2011 6:12 pm

    I love this! First, because I love to have oatmeal for dinner (and breakfast and lunch…obviously), but also because I so enjoy being spontaneous now that I’ve recovered πŸ™‚

  16. 2tightlywound permalink
    July 31, 2011 6:28 pm

    I’ve never been a “go with the flow” person, and the ED didn’t make that any better. I know it’s a bad sign, but I won’t do anything that interferes with my daily workout. I’ve missed a fair amount of happy hours and other fun times because I “have” to go to the gym. Yeah, I need to work on that…

  17. July 31, 2011 6:32 pm

    It amazes me (not in a good way) how such insignificant obstacles like an empty carton of eggs have the ability to ruin a day in the life of someone with an eating disorder. It just goes to show how lost priorities can get in the depths of a disordered mind. I’m glad you’ve overcome that part of your life and are able to see that life is not predictable, and that each day is not going to pan out exactly like the day before. If you’re living your life without any major tragedies (death, illness, poverty, etc.) then you should wake up every morning feeling lucky. This is what I think about when plans stray off path: it could be worse. It could always be worse. Sometimes it takes unexpected obstacles to show us that we’re strong enough to get through minor changes in routine.

  18. July 31, 2011 6:36 pm

    I’m pretty bad about going with the flow. I like to plan, and know what’s going on ahead of time, mostly. And I’d really like to be more spontaneous, and am trying to work on it.

    I find that if I’m hanging out with friends I’m pretty open to doing whatever, since I’ve already mentally blocked out the time to hang out. But when people all of a sudden drop by or want to hang out, I’m working on it.

    As for food, I sometimes think about what I’d like to eat in advance, but there are lots of meals that I just pull something together, especially when there are leftovers. Gotta play the Using it Up game! πŸ™‚

  19. July 31, 2011 6:37 pm

    It’s funny, a few years ago I had found this clip in a magazine, and I took it out because I wanted to use it as a hanging on my door to distinguish that it was my room. On this card it said, “Change it up”, whenever my ex would walk by it, he’d be like “Sam, this is a lie, you don’t like change at all”. It’s funny, as human beings we are highly able to adapt to change, but in the scheme of it, who seriously likes change? Not many of us, we like to have things in order, and things that feel comfortable to us, that’s why we get used to habits. Years have passed since I had the “change it up” on my door, but after a lot of self-reflection, and figuring out personal things in my life, I can officially say that I am comfortable with “changing it up”, I may not always like it, but, as you said, go with the punches, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, and funny enough I feel more human for it, I don’t feel like a robot like I once did.


  20. July 31, 2011 6:44 pm

    “quit being so nit-picky and stop labelling every little thing as a problem.”

    a.freakin’.men. I think that every little thing – habit, quirk, like, dislike – is often nit-picked a little bit too much…almost like people expect there to be something wrong with you if you have a food blog. I hate that I have to add disclaimers to some things I say just so I know one person (aside from my usual audience, I mean) doesn’t take something the wrong way. hrmph.

    I’ve found that things don’t come up missing unless it’s something you really want and are practically imagining eating. But, yeah…I’d way rather improvise than drive to the store. lol.

    I’ve found that lately I’m getting much better at dealing with thrown wrenches, too πŸ˜› It’s kinda fun, actually!

    • August 1, 2011 9:11 am

      Ugh I know what you mean about feeling like you have to play the defensive just because you have a food blog. Sometimes it feels like people are just waiting to jump on you over the silliest things…

  21. July 31, 2011 6:54 pm

    I get kinda kookoo when stuff doesn’t go according to plan-I’ve gotten much better at being flexible though. In my ED, I used to explode at my dad for touching my yogurt or apples in the fridge because I didn’t want to lose the foods I deemed permissible. I could be pretty diva-ish haha I’m sure glad I’m not that hardcore anymore. I mean I still lash out when my parents steal the last of my favorite food, but not nearly as harsh πŸ˜‰ Once I’m in my apartment though? All bets are off, the yogurt shall be mine mwahaha! πŸ˜€

  22. July 31, 2011 6:57 pm

    Eeep! The egg adds so much to oats. I can imagine how it could be a little-less-than perfection, but still good nonetheless, eh? Oats oats oats! Always good.

    I’ve become much better at going with the flow in recent years. I used to have a mental breakdown anytime something changed after I finished chemotherapy- “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO CAMP! I HAVE TO TAKE THE BUS! I’VE NEVER TAKEN A BUS! WHAT IF I DON’T LIKE IT! AHHHH!- seriously. Mental. Breakdown. But I’ve learned to better cope with my anxiety as I’ve gotten older, and things are so much easier! It’s a wonderful feeling to accomplish something you weren’t sure you’d be able to do- no matter how small it may’ve been!

    Nowadays if plans get thrown, my goofy personality kicks in and I’ll make fun out of just about anything. No, really. Driving three hours in terrible traffic? Talk in funny accents and dance around to terrible music with my dad in the car, of course! Going shopping? Ride the cart down the aisles! Yerp. I’m a kid.

    I totally LOL’d at the “stank eye”. I know that look.

    Get your fingers out of my peanut butter chocolate trail mix tub! RAWR!


  23. July 31, 2011 7:16 pm

    I’ve gotten better at going with the flow — in the past I would freaked out and there are still some days that when my routine gets shifted I tend to feel so anxious and unsure. So now I look at those moments as learning experiences — I can always work more on how I react to certain situations.

  24. July 31, 2011 7:18 pm

    I like to think that I go with the flow, and on most things I think that I do. Sometimes, though I can get a little crabby and upset if something doesn’t go as planned. I’ve definitely noticed that I have become more able to go with the flow when it comes to working out. I used to be so rigid about how much time I exercised, the amount of calories I thought I was burning, etc. Now, if I miss a day or have to cut my workout short…so be it πŸ™‚

  25. July 31, 2011 7:24 pm

    i love saying that im a go with the flow kind of girl….but im not – i love to plan and i love to see a plan thru!! xoxo

  26. July 31, 2011 7:28 pm

    I trryyy to plan ahead so I can have my faves at breakfast, but if I wake up and someone ate the alst banana, all hell breaks loose. No joke.

  27. July 31, 2011 7:36 pm

    i’m sorry about your lack of eggs! funny how the one day you are out of eggs, i actually decided to make eggy banana-fied oats. they were just as yummy as you make them look. good luck with your condo extravaganza!

  28. July 31, 2011 7:55 pm

    No eggs! Oh NO!!! But you adjusted so it is all good πŸ™‚ No freak outs here!

    Me on the other hand, I have to be honest, I freak out a little when we are missing a food I was really looking forward to or craving. You come home craving a banana smoothie and there are no bananas! I have to slow down, take a deep breath, listen to my body (haha, this sounds familiar) so I can figure out what I can eat instead to satisfy it.

  29. July 31, 2011 8:06 pm

    this was a reallyreally good post! I need to learn to be more flexible too. Life always does go on πŸ™‚

  30. Kaila @ healthyhelperblog! permalink
    July 31, 2011 8:09 pm

    Going with the flow is definitely something I struggle with….but I am working on it. Things can’t always go my way so I have to learn adapt and reeeeelax a little bit more. πŸ™‚

  31. July 31, 2011 8:13 pm

    I hate going with the flow!!!! I’ll do it if I have to… but I would hate that thing with the realtor!!!! It seriously bugs me when people finish a package of food (like eggs) and just leave the container in the fridge, empty!!!

  32. July 31, 2011 8:20 pm

    I have such a hard time going with the flow. I am so Type A, when changes happen I freak and stress. My finance on the other hand is the opposite, his personality has actually helped me a little.

  33. July 31, 2011 8:27 pm

    Oh my gosh, I used to be completely incapable of going with the flow, especially with food (I’m an ED survivor as well). Nowadays I’m much better – the only thing I can’t handle is being hungry – like stranded somewhere for more than five hours without something to eat – but I’m usually good about always carrying energy bars etc around with me. Oh and I suppose my sleep schedule – I’m a serious runner and a full-time student, so I train pretty early in the AM – I don’t like it when life keeps me up late! I stay up when I have to, and I’ll pass up some sleep for quality time with friends (I used to decline hanging out in favor of sleep), but I’m not completely happy with it haha.

    also would you mind sharing your oats-to-egg whites ratio?? I find that plain oats just don’t do it for me, and you make the eggy oats sound like something i MUST try! πŸ™‚

    • August 1, 2011 9:25 am

      When I’m using steel cut, I use 1/4 cup of oats. When using rolled oats, then 1/2 cup of oats. Then I use one or two egg whites, depending… it works both ways. So basically, 1 or 2 whites for every serving of oats πŸ˜€

  34. ittybitsofbalance permalink
    July 31, 2011 8:36 pm

    I try my best to “go with the flow”– but not gonna lie, sometimes I get a little irked when plans change last minute on me. I’m trying to get better, I promise!

  35. July 31, 2011 8:36 pm

    cool post! although going with the flow is easier said than done on some days! i’ve never added egg whites into my oats before……i might have to try it if only to see what it tastes like. I can’t imagine it!

  36. July 31, 2011 8:48 pm

    Oh man… not all the time, but sometimes I have a really hard time not getting irritated when plans change, or things don’t go my way. But then other times, when plans change so last minute, the lack of time doesn’t leave an opportunity for me to freak out. lol I realize in the last few months that one thing that really sends me into the deep end is when I feel like I have no control over my schedule. When I feel like I don’t have any say, or any control, over my life/schedule/plans and etc, I tend to get irritated, mad, upset, and anxious. That’s when I start trying to gain control in “other areas” if you know what I mean. I never thought I was ‘one of those type people’ who needed to feel in control, but lately I’ve realized I am. And…I’m not sure how to go about fixing that. lol

    • August 1, 2011 9:41 am

      I think perfectionism has a role to play in all of that. We feel like there’s a “right” way to do things, and if anything deviates from that plan, it makes it less than perfect, and therefore “wrong”. But it helps to remember that just because something is different, doesn’t mean it’s bad. Everything can be turned around πŸ˜€

  37. July 31, 2011 9:34 pm

    Amen! No point in throwing a hissy fit or starving yourself. Just simply “go with the flow”. LOVE IT!! πŸ™‚


  38. July 31, 2011 9:59 pm

    Hmm, I’ll have to give that protein “frosting” a try sometime soon! I’m a little weird…I really don’t like change and sometimes I have to just have a pout session for a bit, but then I’m really good at rolling with the punches and accepting it afterwards. There’s been SO much that’s happened in my life over the last couple of years that I just don’t see the point in dwelling on little things…or even big things that are just out of our control. No use in crying over spilled milk, right? Spilled hummus…now THAT’S another story entirely! πŸ˜‰

  39. July 31, 2011 10:03 pm

    Hi Amanda<3
    Love this!! That you feel good about just going with the flow is fantastic! I used to be more regid about small stuff before. But now,as long as Im in my own kitches so I can make changes that makes me feel safe, Im ok.
    But changes like going out for an unplanned dinner, kafe date or any situation that might calls for unplanned food- is much harder for me. I like to know the day before! I would like to be more spontaneous!

  40. July 31, 2011 10:42 pm

    I remember the days of me having panic attacks from my food not being available that was part of the plan, it was awful. That’s no longer the case, I’m usually pretty good about flip flopping things around and making it work.
    I’m still working on “going with the flow” for others things though, because life is to short to try and plan everything. It won’t work.

  41. Lilly permalink
    July 31, 2011 10:43 pm

    Although I like to plan, I live in the real world (not just me world… well most of the time πŸ˜‰ ) and that requires going with the flow. Things happen, things come up, gotta roll with the punches sometimes. It used to bother me more if I had to change plans unexpectedly but I realized that it is good sometime, and sometimes an even better outcome comes from it, ya never know! I also started to think about the future, one day I want to be a mom and having kids def means going with the flow of life. I seriously love ALL of your posts, your awesome girl πŸ™‚

  42. July 31, 2011 11:01 pm

    i’m all for going with the flow – at least i’m learning to be more flexible when my plans change. i realize that because i’m a planner, dreamer, and idealist, i often have a vision in my head of how things are supposed to go or how my day is supposed to be, and when what happens falls short of my expectations, it’s hard for me to reconfigure my expectations. what i’ve learned is to be hopeful about what i want but not to be rigid about it – not to lock myself into any set way of thinking but to be as open as possible, be willing to change, and to work hard but not to expect too much of others. going with the flow is something so important to my life right now – glad you blogged about it!

  43. July 31, 2011 11:14 pm

    wow this post was amazing…i used to be exactly how you said.- out the door at 6am for eggs ( my eggy oats used to have 6 whites in them)!! i used to FREAK OUT if i didn;t eat every 3 hours, measured and weighed everything. no more no less. Caused a huge drama everytime we had to eat out. Met up with my friends AFTER dinner if they were going out. I could NEVER go with the flow. it was mentally exhausting. Now i am 100% go with the flow!! and I am healthier and stronger then ever. Having said that I do make sure to plan meals if I am on the run all day- but I know that if by chance I don’t have time to plan or a curve ball gets thrown in my way- its ok. My metabolism wont simply stop working, my muscle won’t dissapear… it will all be O-K!!! and i’m pretty sure I am a lot more pleasant to be around πŸ™‚
    So good to know there are others who struggled with the same thing. Kinda sad to think there are probs Tons of people who are still struggling… hope they find this post!

  44. July 31, 2011 11:41 pm

    unfortunately, i feel like attempting to ‘go with the flow’ for me, so early into recovery, has been a bit disastrous as going too far from my comfort zone leads to ED behaviours. right now, working things through, i have to stick with the meal plan i’ve got and do what i’ve found to work- soon I’m hoping to get to the stage where I can so easily go with the flow, though. (:

    • August 1, 2011 10:03 am

      It takes time for sure, and I definitely agree that pushing yourself too hard, too fast can lead to disastrous results – that’s how I ended up relapsing. I found that recovery “stuck” a lot better when I was able to go at my own pace… to push myself to the point where I was challenging myself, but still comfortable. It takes time, but you’ll get there girl!

  45. August 1, 2011 12:10 am

    Wow I used to be the same- God forbid someone ate my last banana! Fortunately I’m much more able to go with the flow now. LIke you said, it’s just one meal!!

  46. August 1, 2011 12:27 am

    This post made me really happy, so proud of you Amanda πŸ™‚

    We can not control every single aspect of life, what we need to do is to learn how to adopt to new or unexpected circumstances. I have definetely come a long way since the days where ED controlled me. Life get’s so much easier and fun when you don’t have to deal with a brain that goes woooop when there is change in the air!
    It is as you say, “just” to go with the flow, to realize that you will survive without a work- out or a specific food. There is allways a new day, a new meal.

    Love you dear – sorry for being so absent!

  47. August 1, 2011 12:59 am

    Your photos are gorgeous and those oats look delicious! I can see why you eat them every day. (You do, right?) πŸ˜‰

    My reaction to changes depends on what they’re about. I don’t plan much in the first place, to be honest, let alone my eats or workout. I do hate it if plans of going somewhere get thrown, though!

  48. August 1, 2011 3:26 am

    mostly I am fairly organised and like to plan my time but I know life doesn’t go that way their is always bumps along the road and when these bumps appear I will go with the flow and if I’ve ran out of my something that I have planned toe at I will un plan it the same with exercise. When I was deep in my ed I would completely freak to the point of nearly crying if the supermarket didn’t have what I was having and their was no way in hell I would miss my workout for the day I woulds have to do it. I’m so glad my life is no longer like that and I can be more fluid.

  49. August 1, 2011 3:51 am

    Eeee it’s so lovely to hear how you’re so free now to just live life each and everyday no matter what happens. You should be so so proud of yourself and you’re such an inspiration, you really are πŸ™‚
    As for me, I’m still working on going with the flow. I admit, I still like my routine, but I think most humans have a routine that they’re comfortable with so I don’t see it as a huge problem. University life has definitely challenged me to new circumstances and forced me out of my comfort zone and whilst it has been hard at times, I’ve done it and nothing bad happened – I didn’t suddenly get overweight, I didn’t die, the world didn’t end…life carried on! I know that back in my dark ED days I wouldn’t have been able to cope with that. If anyone touched my precious food I would freak out, if the supermarket didn’t have the certain food product that I needed and felt safe with I’d freak out, if I wasn’t allowed to go out and walk for x amount because my family were taking me somewhere I would freak out, just anything that my ED didn’t like – I would totally freak out and it would feel like my entire day was ruined because of one change. It was so silly!

    • August 1, 2011 10:13 am

      Silly is right. I would literally drive all over the city if one store didn’t have something I wanted. Talk about a waste of time and life…

  50. August 1, 2011 5:11 am

    Awesome post! I ususally go with the flow with most parts of my life, but there somethings where I have to feel like I have to have more control.

  51. August 1, 2011 5:52 am

    Ahh I hate it when a family member uses up the rest of something in the fridge/pantry without replacing it! One time my dad ate my last banana and I was NOT impressed. πŸ˜› I wish I could say I’m good at going with the flow, but I’m really not. It definitely causes me problems sometimes, so I’m working at being more flexible.

  52. August 1, 2011 6:05 am

    SO many ppl NEED to read this post.

  53. August 1, 2011 6:34 am

    I used to be AWFUL at going with the flow. Like, awful. I’d ruin someone’s day with my attitude if things didn’t go my way. At my worst, vacations were even bad, because I couldn’t relax – my food was different and I was all discombobulated about it.

    Now, I couldn’t care less if things don’t go as planned. A combination of things got me to this point – being dumped by a man I loved (for another woman), my stress fracture, moving back home and getting a real job, the death of a family friend, and acupuncture. Letting go of my compulsions and discipline was the hardest part, but once I did, I felt like a new person. I booked a trip to California and crashed on my Aunt and Uncle’s couch for a week. I took bikram yoga, hot yoga, hatha yoga, I hiked and did pilates – I tried wakeboading! I went out on a Tuesday night just because, and reconnected with some amazing friends from high school. I learned to cook paella on the grill, I dropped $500 on a 5-week class at the Institute of Culinary Education in New York City. And just last week, I booked a trip to London to see a good friend, and we’re spending 5 days driving around the English countryside.

    Once I let go of the routine nonsense that used to rule my life, I felt like I started living. As a young 20-something, I feel reborn, as dramatic as that sounds. Here’s to going with the flow!

    • August 1, 2011 10:15 am

      That’s such a beautiful and inspirational story of growth. I’m sorry that you had to go through so much pain, but it looks like it was a blessing in disguise πŸ™‚

  54. August 1, 2011 6:49 am

    I’m awful at going with the flow. Well I’m getting better. It’s a learning process for me. I don’t think I’ll ever be a true go with the flow kind of person. I’ve always always liked things organized and a certain way, even as a kid. Maybe I’ll let it go eventually but it will definitely take some time πŸ˜‰ .. I’m fine with the exercise now, if I don’t get to workout I just look at it as tomorrow is going to be even better.. or I take a short walk outside.

  55. August 1, 2011 6:55 am

    I rarely have to deal with the hubby taking the last of anything. He knows to keep his hands of certain foods or ask me first if it’s okay to eat. I’m kind of protective. πŸ™‚

  56. August 1, 2011 7:01 am

    I’m naturally a person who likes routine and structure so going with the flow is something I’ve been working on more recently, and I’m getting much better at it! As you say we can all have our preferences but sometimes you just have to work with what you have!

  57. August 1, 2011 8:10 am

    I’m still working on going with the flow. I think I’ve gotten much better at it over the past few months. Changes are still challenging though. I like to have things planned out and when they don’t go right, I get anxious and uneasy. I’m definitely still learning and seeing that the world won’t end if this doesn’t happen or I won’t die if that’s different πŸ˜€ For example, this morning I was planning on having soy yogurt for breakfast because I wanted something lighter, but I realized I’m craving oats. I went with the flow and made a nice bowl of oats :]

  58. August 1, 2011 9:37 am

    Must.try.eggy.oats! πŸ˜€

  59. August 1, 2011 10:23 am

    I’m not much of a go with the flow kind of girl lol I like my little set routine so when I get thrown out of it I get pretty paranoid. Definitely working on it though πŸ™‚

  60. August 1, 2011 11:52 am

    Ahhh, that same thing with the workouts happens to me ALL the time! Just as I’m done getting changed something comes up; no fun, but definitely something I can handle. Whenever that happened a year ago, I would beat myself up for it. But no it’s like, no workout? No problem!

  61. August 1, 2011 1:03 pm

    You have to go with the flow because it’s life. Life is always changing and it can’t constantly be your way all the time.

  62. August 1, 2011 1:05 pm

    I try and go with the flow, but I do struggle sometimes. It’s not an ED-thing, it’s a Freya-thing – I’ve been like it my whole life. It’s like, a ‘thing’ in my family that Freya Doesn’t Like Change! But I am 1billion times better than I ever used to be, especially over the small things. Life is much easier when one can go with the flow πŸ™‚

  63. August 1, 2011 5:04 pm

    I always make my oatmeal with protein powder! Without it, I’d be hungry in two minutes πŸ˜‰

    Totally going to try the egg thing tomorrow.

  64. August 1, 2011 5:06 pm

    I’m totally a go with the flow kind of person – I certainly have my little quirks and habits, but when something goes awry I just roll with whatever comes my way! πŸ™‚

  65. August 1, 2011 7:24 pm

    I am not good with plans when they get changed!

  66. August 1, 2011 9:21 pm

    Haha I’m a MAJOR cranky pants when I can’t have what I want for breakfast. It’s really the only thing that makes me cranky! But don’t get between me and my breakfast! (Oh, I also get cranky if the paper doesn’t get delivered in the morning. I have to read the WSJ!!!)

  67. August 1, 2011 11:44 pm

    Amanda, you have the best posts EVER.

  68. August 2, 2011 3:34 am

    My flatmate stole my pesto yesterday. And I was actually quite ok with it. A couple of years ago that would have driven me mad..

  69. August 2, 2011 5:42 am

    I used to be really scheduled and have a really hard time breaking free of my “set plan” – but I’ve since gotten over that (for the most part) and actually find that I enjoy just seeing where my day takes me now πŸ™‚

  70. August 2, 2011 7:08 am

    Not gonna lie… I HATE “going with the flow.” It drives me crazy not to know what’s happening, and when. But if I’m allowed to have a little temper tantrum about it for a couple of minutes, I usually get over it pretty quickly. It becomes a much bigger problem when someone tries to calm me down… because there are few things worse than being told to calm down!

    ❀ ❀

  71. seegirlsmile permalink
    August 2, 2011 8:40 am

    Hi Amanda,

    I have no computer or internet or anything anymore. So my blog reading is rare. But just wanted to ask advice. I had to move into a sharing situation…sharing a kitchen, fridge. I only have 2 small shelves for food and about a 1/4 of a fridge. The downstairs where I sleep (and living room small) is bug-infested. Oye. I have had my breakdowns this past week. Telling myself to suck it up and be thankful and positive. Sharing a kitchen, particularly at this time is real hard. Worse is that there is no TV in the kitchen or nearby and I have no computer for during eating times. I know people say to just eat (no distractions) but that makes me feel crazy or unprodductive. I’d rather watch the news, a silly show, or at least read something on internet.
    Sharing a fridge with a another girl with drastic food differences is tough too. Any advice. I’m debating putting in my 60-day notice and trying to move again…but I’m so afraid cause I need to save money. Not sure at this point what to do. I can try to cut back even more on food and and other things to try and afford better place, but worried. I already buy nothing extraneous…all my little cheque does is go to rent, food, car insurance, student loans, phone, gas, etc etc. But either way I’m stuck in this situation for at least 3 months….I feel so overwhelmed and trying to think of this in good way. Any advice or way to relate or similar stories u know of?

  72. August 2, 2011 1:45 pm

    I HATE when something ruins what Im used to. I am such a creature of habit, its pretty bad. I mean if I dont have a banana every day I think I may have a meltdown. My hubby made the mistake of taking the last banana for work and I made sure he picked more up on his way home lol

  73. August 2, 2011 3:14 pm

    This post brings back memories of desperate 3am grocery runs for diet hot chocolate, sugar-free jello, sugar-free syrup, laughing cow cheese and yep, eggs too. πŸ™‚ (Actually though, I was an Egg Beaters-only girl back in those days…Ick.) My disordered thoughts controlled everything I ate, which meant that when I was thrown a curve ball, NOTHING would get in the way of keeping the status quo. I’d go to extremes to get what I “needed” when I “needed” it. Recovering meant letting go of that control. And it was very, very hard. I’d say that I’m able to go with the flow 90% of the time now, which is so freeing and liberating! Living a satisfying life means maintaining the ability to be buoyant…And I find that I’m happiest when I’m riding the waves of life. However there are still times when I’ll drop everything to satisfy those so-called “needs.” The difference now is that these trips don’t result in a fall. πŸ˜€

  74. August 11, 2011 2:03 pm

    tried pureed (or not) tofu cooked into oats if you are looking for a protein kick! πŸ™‚


  1. Out of character | pumpedforpumpkin

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