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. the last bite .

July 29, 2011

It’s been a while since I’ve said this, but… thank. goodness. it’s. Friday.

I’m wiped. Pooped. Tuckered out. I have no idea how people make it through a busy work week and still find the energy to go out and party. All I want to do is curl up on the couch and pass out.

All of this condo buying craziness has left me feeling completely drained, and if I never have to deal with another bank again, I’ll be ooone happy camper. Hey, a girl can dream, can’t she? And please don’t remind me that I still have to actually pack up and move; I don’t even want to think about that just yet…

Le sigh. 

But now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to ditch the ‘tude, bring the pity party to an end, and lighten up a bit… and I know just the thing that will help me do that…

Ahhh. Much better. The ability that good food has to turn my frown upside down never ceases to amaze me. It’s like magic. Really, really, delicious magic. The kind of magic that you never want to end…

I don’t know about you guys, but sometimes I get a little bit sad as I take the last bite of a really good meal. If this is a sight that fills my heart with joy (and it does)…

Then this is a sight that… well… that takes some of that joy away…

Although I have to admit… the pink bunny makes me smile. Yes, I’m a 10 year old at heart. No shame.

When I was little, I remember not being able to finish a meal fast enough. I ate pretty slowly, but all I wanted was to get it over with so that I could go back to doing something more interesting. Like play with my Legos. Or build forts out of blankets and sofa cushions. Huh. Maybe I should have been an architect.

But I digress.

When my eating disorder hit, I remember not being able to eat a meal slow enough. I dragged out my meals for as loooooong as I possibly could because one of the only times I felt happy was when I was eating, and I wanted to milk it for all that it was worth. I could spend an hour and a half smiling as I munched on an apple, but as soon as I finished, my frown would return. Big time.

Thankfully, those days are a thing of the past; and while finishing a meal is no longer a frown inducing event, there’s always that feeling of “awww… it’s over?” associated with the last bite of whatever it is that I happen to be eating…

 

Happy face … Sad face

I can’t help it. I like to eat. It’s obviously not the only thing I enjoy, but it’s definitely one of my life’s many pleasures. As such, I guess it’s only natural to feel a hint of disappointment when it’s over. But at least I find comfort in knowing that I get to do it again… and again… and again… and again x infinity…

… if only there weren’t so many dirty dishes involved…

. – . – . – .

Can anyone relate?

If not pressed for time, do you eat quickly or slowly?

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71 Comments leave one →
  1. July 29, 2011 5:30 pm

    Yes, it seems that the first bite is happy bliss and then the last bite is sad bliss that it’s the end. I love to eat slowly just to remind myself to savor the bites in between.

    Love the pink bunny bowl!

  2. July 29, 2011 5:30 pm

    Hang in there, girl!!

    I’m a ridiculously slow eater. Suave Slav usually has to wait 20-30 minutes for me to finish eating when we dine together, haha 😀

    • July 30, 2011 8:46 am

      Haha I drive people crazy because of how long I make them wait for me to finish eating. I’m surprised they want to eat with me at all… must be the good conversation 😉

  3. July 29, 2011 5:31 pm

    I do know what you mean… but I’m usually more annoyed about the fact that in order to eat again, I’m going to have to cook again. Which is weird, since I actually LIKE to cook!!

    I don’t think I eat particularly slowly, but I do like to be able to have time to realize that I am eating! There are few things worse than having to gulp down food — not only do I not even get to taste it, it also doesn’t sit very well. So, yeah… put me in the “slow eater” camp. 😉

    ❤ ❤

  4. July 29, 2011 5:33 pm

    Of course eating comes with pleasure- especially when it’s something delicious and you’re hungry, kind of like how pleasing it is to sleep and rest. When I had anorexia I was obsessed with my meal times and that was THE ONLY thing I would look forward to- but now as much as I love and enjoy food, there are many other things I enjoy like writing, playing tennis, going out with my friends, traveling, etc…I no longer have to be disappointed at each meal’s conclusion because hey i eat 5x a day, and I’m full once I’m done anyways so then I’m on to the next thing

  5. July 29, 2011 5:38 pm

    Seriously, are we the same person?

    I love my food (especially my oats. And anything with chocolate. Or nut butter. Or pudding. Ok, I’ll stop), and I always get a little sad as I take the last bite of a good meal / snack. Wahh. Thankfully there’s always another meal / snack to come, eh?

    I always seem to eat quickly. That’s one of the reasons I get so sad once my meal’s done. I enjoy it, sure, but I always wish I could eat just a bit slower so I could savor it a while longer. It’s so hard for me to put the spork down when the food is so delicious!

    And oh. My. Gosh. My parents HATE all the dishes I use up. Oh, dishwasher’s full? Sorry guys. That’s all my stuff. HAHA! Pots for oats, pyrex tiny bowls for warming coconut butter and making nut butter sauces, bowls for pudding and cereal, plates for sandwiches. PHEW! But I always seem to enjoy my food most when it’s presented in a pretty way.

    That bowl- D’AWW! Too cute. I love it! I’m all for adorable things. But you already know that 😉

    Methinks I might have a chocolate muffin in my vanilla coconut milk ice cream today… your muffin bowl looks delicious! Nomnomnom. I’m too full from dinner right now, though. Stuffed. Soon enough…

    Three cheers for your new condo! ‘Tis rough right now with all the busy work to do, but it’ll be so worth it once you’re all settled into your own place. I just know it 🙂

    Love you! ❤

    • July 29, 2011 8:53 pm

      FINALLY another blogger that eats fast but wishes they could SLOWWW down!!

    • July 30, 2011 8:49 am

      😆 It’s the same deal with our dishwasher… it’s full of a whole bunch of teeny, tiny mixing bowls and plates. The kitchen becomes a real spectacle when I’m prepping meals… what with all of the mixing that I do, and ingredients I use.

  6. July 29, 2011 5:41 pm

    I’ve found that if I’m eating until I’m just full enough – I don’t usually have that “aww, it’s gone?” thought! More of a “that was really good” kind of thing. Unless it was awful…in which case I can’t wait for it to be over.

    The exception is waffles and eggs. Then I’m just sad it’s done no matter what…lol!

  7. July 29, 2011 5:57 pm

    I am slow eater if I don’t eat on the run. I like enjoying every bite of my meals. The “Aww, it’s gone!” feeling appears sometimes but I don’t know exactly why. I am only sure for the cases when it is really the last bite and the chance to eat the same thing again anytime soon is very, very little.

  8. July 29, 2011 5:58 pm

    Yeah I feel pretty bummed when I finish a meal or if I’m near the end of it. But then I remind myself that I can do it ALLLL over again when my tummy is next feeling grumbly. It’s not as if I have to wait for stupid reasons to eat again anymore!

    It used to take me 45 minutes to eat a sandwich. I can’t believe you used to take an hour and a half to eat an apple! That’s so cray cray! Then again EDs make us cray cray 😛

    I don’t know if I eat quickly or slowly these days. Relative to how I used to eat, I eat quickly but I think I just eat at a “normal” pace these days.

    xxx

  9. sarah permalink
    July 29, 2011 5:58 pm

    Yes, I def like to take my time over my food and savour it- food should be enjoyed!
    I will never be one of those people who just don’t seem to care about food-my flatmate(male) never breaks for lunch & sometimes dinner too, he just jugs energy drinks& milk for kcals & energy throughout the day- this is weird to me, I’d much rather eat good food.
    Lovin the bunny bowl-cute cutlery & crockery just further enhance the eating experience.
    All the condo buying crazyness and moving blah blah will be totally worth it when you are settled in your new place- but I totally agree dealing with all that stuff( banks, ugghh!) Is ANNOYING!
    Xxx

    • July 30, 2011 8:53 am

      I’ll never understand how people can eat whatever just to get calories in either… or eat straight from pots or over the sink. Boggles my mind. But then again, us foodies are a different brand of people 😉

  10. July 29, 2011 5:59 pm

    I love eating a delicious meal slowly and enjoying every last bite 🙂

  11. July 29, 2011 6:12 pm

    I eat slowly whether I’m pressed for time or not. I just can’t help it. I’ve always been a slow eater! My dad is too. I must get it from him. I don’t really get sad when I finish a good meal. More so, I feel a sense of accomplishment! Haha. Sometimes I wish there were more left, but usually I’m pretty satisfied at the end of my meals! But I know what you mean about so thoroughly enjoying something that you don’t ever want it to be over! Those are the best meals…the ones that leave you wishing it would never run out. 🙂

  12. July 29, 2011 6:16 pm

    I used to be a faaast eater! I’ve slowed it down as of late because I absolutely loooove to eat. Although, another snack is never too far away!

  13. Alexandra permalink
    July 29, 2011 6:22 pm

    Oh girl can I relate– I get so excited sitting down to begin the beautiful meal and get so sad when it’s all over haha I wish some would never ever end!
    I eat my breakfast super slow, but I’m actually kinda speedy for all of my other meals…I never really noticed that before! Ehh whatevs, I just love eating!! 🙂

  14. July 29, 2011 6:32 pm

    I wish I ate more slowly! I usually eat while catching up on blogs and while I thoroughly enjoy my meal, it disappears before I know it! Especially when I’m eating sushi, I consciously have to tell myself to sloooooooooow down! 🙂

  15. July 29, 2011 6:51 pm

    i need to learn to eat more slowly–i think i am just naturally a fast eater. i laughed so hard when you said you get sad when a really great meal comes to a close…SO DO I (i kinda get misty eyed, not really, but kinda, whoops!) and isn’t it great that we can eat more if we want, and eat it again later on??? Such freedom!! Rest up girl and have a great weekend 🙂

    • July 30, 2011 9:15 am

      Ahh freedom is the best feeling. There’s nothing worse than finishing a meal, wanting more, and telling yourself that you can’t have it… then painfully watching the clock until you’re “allowed” to eat again Sometimes it’s hard to believe that I used to put myself through that!

  16. July 29, 2011 7:02 pm

    I eat super quick and I kind of hate it. I try to slow myself down but most of the time I’m doing something else and I look down and see that there’s no food left! That’s the worst!

  17. July 29, 2011 7:05 pm

    LOVE the bunny bowl! I have a Hello Kitty bowl, so I am a 5 year old ; ) lol

    I used to eat really fast, but now I like to savor each bite, and I do this especially when It comes to breakfast or ice cream : )

    Hope you have a fabulous night! xoxo Love you!

  18. July 29, 2011 7:13 pm

    Same here! I used to spend an hour eating a handful of vegetables. I can’t even imagine how I did that now!! Compared to back then, I eat at lightning speed. I try to slow down..but dang, food’s just too good. Now I opt for second helpings instead! 😛

  19. July 29, 2011 7:15 pm

    I agree – eating is one of life’s great pleasures 🙂
    When I was deep in my ED, I would drag my meal out for as long as I could. If I was eating a clementine at my desk, it took about an hour (plus, I was so hungry I would sometimes eat the peel. Yeah. That bad.) Now I eat a lot faster. Sometimes I feel frustrated with myself for eating so fast. I think “Ah! Lexi, you need to slow down! Otherwise you won’t feel satisfied and thus feel wanting and unhappy after the meal or eat more. Not Good!” But I try to take it as a sign that I’m yet another step further in the road to recovery.

    • July 30, 2011 9:23 am

      I used to worry about being left unsatisfied if I ate too quickly, too, but it never really happened. If I’m starving enough to eat super fast, then the faster my stomach gets food, the faster it can be satisfied 😀

  20. July 29, 2011 7:16 pm

    I totally get sad after eating the last bite of a delicious meal! I like to save the best for last too! 🙂

  21. July 29, 2011 7:19 pm

    I can totally relate! When I get to the last bite I definitely feel a little sigh of ‘oh it’s all gone’. But the great thing is afterwords I have enough energy to do the other things I want to do and then come back for more great food. Eating is definitely a pleasure of mine, and one I used to be ashamed of…but not any more 🙂

  22. July 29, 2011 7:52 pm

    love the pink bowl!! I always eat slow if I have the time. I love to savory every delish bite 🙂

  23. July 29, 2011 7:54 pm

    Honestly I eat really fast no matter what. I think I am that way because growing up I had 3 sisters + my parents and when it was dinnertime you took what you could and as soon as everyone helped themselves, the food was gone. So, if you ate super fast you had a chance to maybe get seconds of things. I have people (coworkers mostly!) comment on how fast I eat.

    And I definitely get a little sad when I get to the end of a really good meal.

    • July 30, 2011 9:29 am

      Ahh see, I was an only child so I never had to fight siblings for food. But if I did, I imagine I’d be eating a lot more quickly now too… No one’s stealing my goodies!

  24. July 29, 2011 8:03 pm

    I eat slowly and relaxed when I am with people (I wish I lived in Europe somewhere) and am always the lst to finish because my family? I don’t even think they chew.
    However, when I am alone? I zone out and sometimes I just wolf it down. I am trying to change this because I am reading a book about metabolism.
    Not sure why when I am alone I tend to inhale food.

    I get sad at the end of a meal often, because sometimes I am still hungry though my belly is full. That is part of the trick of learning how to feed my body throughout the day. (Though your last bite remorse is not like mine..I’m just sharing).

  25. July 29, 2011 8:12 pm

    Oh yes! I love to sit down and really REALLY take my time enjoying my food. A good meal takes at the very least a half hour for me to consume, sometimes more. and it’s definitely always a little bittersweet when it’s over – sometimes when I finish a really good meal or treat I think “man I could eat that all over again!”

  26. Kaila @ healthyhelperblog! permalink
    July 29, 2011 8:26 pm

    I always get a little sad too when I’m done eating something delicious! But then I remember I can always have MORE….so simple right!?! But so easy to forget sometimes!

    PS: I love your pink bunny bowl!

  27. July 29, 2011 8:46 pm

    I’m so with you. I love eating! Except that most of the time I end up eating fast. A lot faster than I would prefer to. But I’m so disappointed that it was over so fast that I end up immediately scrounging for more food. And inhaling that too. And then ending up with a tummy ache ha. But seriously, I could use a little slowing down. I try to savour when it’s something REALLY good… maybe I just need to bump up the yum factor on more of my meals! That might involve eating dessert for every meal though… then again, maybe that wouldn’t be the worst idea 😉

    I hope your weekend is insanely RELAXING. Don’t think too much about the moving stressors either. All will work out juuuuust fine 🙂

  28. buttonss - Cherie permalink
    July 29, 2011 8:51 pm

    I usually try to drag out my meals if im really enjoying it. Eating them too quick can leave me feeling unsatifised and sometimes uncomfortable.
    Usually I take 15 – 20 mins to eat my morning oats 😀

  29. July 29, 2011 8:55 pm

    I totally feel the exact same way.
    I always eat like 10mins longer than the rest of my family, so they just awkwardly sit there watching me eat, or they just leave me alone to eat since im as slow as a turtle! but i just love taking my time and digesting and feeling the texture and flavor of the food on my tounge! sorry mental image, but its true! and if i had that awesome bunny bowl, i wouldn’t be as sad about finishing my brekkie 😉

  30. July 29, 2011 9:27 pm

    Relate 100%, especially breakfast. I act as though the meal I’m eating is the last pile of food on earth and when it’s gone, a piece of me goes with it. Maybe it’s not that bad, but I do like to eat slow and enjoy every last bite instead of wolfing it down like a she-man.

  31. July 29, 2011 9:28 pm

    I definitely get sad when I’m at my last bite of food…especially if I’m really liking it! But, I eat fast so my last bite tends to get there pretty quickly…oops! I think I actually may do a blog post on my fast eating because I need to work on slowing down and enjoying what I’m eating!

  32. July 29, 2011 9:42 pm

    I definitely relate 😦 Especially with dinner… I think it’s because I know I’m in for the long haul before my next meal. I hate being pressed for time while eating, so while at work, I make it KNOWN that I’m going to be eating for a half hour. I take that time seriously 🙂

  33. July 29, 2011 10:23 pm

    O yea, I can relate! First, I need to be able to sit down and have some time when I eat. I dont want to be in a rush, that just takes the joy out of my food. I love to eat slowly and taste when I eat. Food is too delicious to just hurry through 🙂
    Have a nice rerlxing weekend friend ❤ Its well-deserved!

  34. July 29, 2011 10:58 pm

    I used to spread my meals out so long when I was on an eating “schedule” (my meal plan was on a timed schedule as well) so that by the time I was done with a meal, it was almost time to eat again. My body was just so thankful to be fed again, and I didn’t want it to end.

    Now I find that if I slow down and enjoy my meal, all I feel is satisfied and ready to tackle whatever it is I’m going to do next. But sometimes if I make a really super spectacular meal, I never want it to end 😛

    And amen on the dishes. I always have waaay to many to do!

  35. July 29, 2011 11:07 pm

    I like to eat my meals slowly, especially breakfast as it’s my favourite meal of the day 🙂

  36. Lilly permalink
    July 29, 2011 11:51 pm

    for me it totally depends on what I am eating or the circumstance, sometimes faster sometimes slower. honestly though, I don’t really think about it all that much… since I am pretty busy and need A LOT of food, usually I have to eat a tad beyond fullness (thanks speedy metabolism) so I am not all that sad when its gone, unless it was to die for or something I know I can’t make/ get again soon 🙂

  37. Lenna (veganlenna) permalink
    July 30, 2011 12:49 am

    I am always sad when my spoon reaches the bottom of my morning bowl of oatmeal 🙂 I am a slow eater, I like to enjoy my meals, bite by bite and I think there´s no need to hurry. When it tastes good, it should better taste long enough 🙂
    And since I haven´t said that yet – congrats on getting the flat!!!

  38. July 30, 2011 12:56 am

    oh the end of the bowl is really just the saddest part of the day 😦
    especially when you’ve gone to bed the night before dreaming of how wonderfully delicious the morning is going to be. and then- just like that- its gone. so sad. i’m suffering from post snack depression right now. lunch seems a long way away right now…

  39. July 30, 2011 1:56 am

    During the worst of my ED I ate as SLOWLY as possible, because I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to eat again, so I wanted to really savor the moment. Then it switched to shoveling down food as quickly as possible – trying to block out the guilt I felt at eating it.

    Now I think I’ve found the balance between enjoying my food and being able to eat “on the go”. Although, like you, when I eat something REALLY good, I’m sad when it ends.

  40. July 30, 2011 2:40 am

    I eat really slow because I love savoring my meals, especially breakfast! It drives my mom/cousin crazy as both are super fast eaters and so when they are done, I still have half my meal left…guess who has the last laugh there 🙂

  41. July 30, 2011 3:50 am

    If my bowl had that cute pink bunny at the bottom, I’d eat wicked fast 😀
    I’m a slow eater – when I was little, I ALWAYS ate too fast, was ALWAYS the first to finish and then had 10mins sitting there and being bored! Now I eat slowly because I enjoy eating – the taste, textures, smell..I just love it! If I have to eat fast for whatever reason, that’s cool too – but if there’s a choice, I savour my meals 🙂

  42. July 30, 2011 4:58 am

    oh my goodness I can completely relate.. I always try to eat slow just so I can savor my food… By the time I’ve taken 5 bites of my food Kyle is finished his first plate. I love to savor my foods. I would have to say I’m a moderate eater. Sometimes if I’m starving I’ll finish a meal in 10 minutes but then I’m always really disappointed I didn’t eat slower.
    I get really sad when I come to the last bite of something delicious but I remind myself that I’ll probably have it again in a few days so no need to become too upset 😉

  43. July 30, 2011 5:13 am

    I love love my food too..especially in the form of muffins like yours! 😛
    Sadly, I eat way too fast really which means that the end comes too soon so I find myself upset that the end is over quickly 😦 Fortunately though, I like to eat a lot and frequently so it means the next lot of food is never too far away YAY! During my ED days when I was in clinics etc I would eat as slowly as I could (I would take 2 hours to eat a meal…) so that the food would go stone cold and I’d come out with the excuse that it was ‘too cold to eat’ and they weren’t allowed to re-heat it because of bacteria etc..sometimes it didn’t work though and they’d make me eat it cold anyway. Sad sad times. 😦 Looking back I can’t even believe that it was me who did that..because food is the love of my life!
    Absolutely in LOVE with your bowl girly! I love kiddy kitchenware hehe!!

  44. July 30, 2011 5:48 am

    I’m always a little sad when a really good meal is over too. I feel that way every morning after my breakfast! 😛 I’m a pretty slow eater when I have distractions (like blogs, the tv, or a book) but if I’m just focusing on eating then I tend to speed through it. Especially at restaurants! I wish I could learn to slow down when I eat out because I always end up overeating since my body doesn’t have time to realize it’s full yet.

  45. July 30, 2011 5:53 am

    I always feel really guilty about how much I love to eat, so it’s nice to see someone embracing it.

    I do take things a bit far though: I am SO sad when I’ve finished a meal and know it’ll be a while before I can eat again…I clock-watch all the time, counting down the minutes until I’ll have more food. Not because I’m hungry or deprived, just because if my metabolism would allow I’d never stop eating!

    xxx

  46. beckafly permalink
    July 30, 2011 6:26 am

    I’m the same way at the end of a meal for a few seconds afterwards. Aw, is it over? Or darn, I’m full and can’t eat anymore of this good food haha. It passes quickly and I’m ready to get back to what I was doing, but during my ED it was a terrible thing. I felt empty and discontent after everything. I’m a slow eater by nature and always have been. I remember once when I was 11 eating a salad and an hour later wasn’t done so my parents scolded me and made me leave. I just don’t eat fast. But, during my ED I drug it out taking the smallest of bites.

    Now, I’m still a slow eater (but back to normal), and I cherish my meals by making them filling/healthy and happy. I just get that sad feeling for about a minute after eating ice cream 😉

  47. July 30, 2011 8:23 am

    UGH I totally can relate- especially about looking forward to food all day and then dragging it out once a meal came up, even if it was just 1/2 a sandwich or something. I still eat rather slowly, but I enjoy every bit and it is not just a measly 1/2 a sandwich 😉

  48. July 30, 2011 9:23 am

    I don’t try to eat fast or slowly. However hungry/rushed I am and how tasty/bulky the food is usually is what causes me to eat faster/slower. I just enjoy the food!!! 🙂

  49. July 30, 2011 9:49 am

    I’m a really slow eater as well. I like to enjoy every bite. I don’t like being rushed at all. I’m usually the last one to finish at the table. And yes, I can definitely relate! 😀 That’s why I love cute plates haha. They make me smile when my delicious food is gone. I usually use up so many dishes when I prepare my meals though. I’m not a fan of washing dishes at all. I want a chocolate muffin now!

  50. July 30, 2011 11:12 am

    I get so sad for the last bite too! So I try to make sure that last bite is just really good and hope the taste stays for a while 😉 I’m definitely a slow eater! Eating too fast turns my stomach upside down.
    And I’m a 10 year old at heart too, so you’re not alone 😉
    Have a wonderful weekend!

  51. July 30, 2011 12:16 pm

    I’m always the last one to finish eating whenever I eat with anyone else! My little brother always gets so impatient with me in restaurants because I like to spend a while enjoying my food, while he would rather scarf his chicken strips and get out of there. And when we all go out for frozen yogurt… haha, I usually end up eating mine in the car because I’m probably only a third of the way through my cup when everybody else is long done!

    I love what you said there at the end. I’m always sad to finish a meal… but its not like I’m not going to be eating again soon. It used to be that way but not anymore.

    Still… I like big voluminous meals and I like to enjoy them slowly if given the opportunity!

  52. July 30, 2011 12:53 pm

    I definitely relate! It’s very different from when you were a kid and food was the last thing on your mind. I always get a little sad when the meal is over, but after I check in with my stomach and I know that I’m satisfied, it’s a-okay.

    I’m in the process of moving right now too – I know the stress you are feeling. But what I keep thinking about is how a month from now I’ll be all settled in to my new “home”. Keep the end goal in sight girl!

  53. July 30, 2011 12:58 pm

    Your bunny bowl is too cute! When it’s something really good, I always get sad when I’m down to my last few bites. That’s when I start to drag it out as long as possible. Then I take that last bite, and even though I’m full, wish I had more. I think this tends to happen the most during breakfast, my favorite meal of the day 🙂

  54. July 30, 2011 1:26 pm

    I ate slowly when I had a ED just because I could eat less that way. I would fill up faster by eating slow so I didn’t have to eat that much.

  55. July 30, 2011 1:47 pm

    I have been really trying to make an effort to sloooow down my eating. When I eat slow and mindfully, I end up feeling so much more satisfied and content compared to when I wolf something down…but sometimes the hunger beast gets the best of me and any food near me simply has no chance. what can you do? 😉

  56. July 30, 2011 2:02 pm

    I’m a super slow eater! It’s not even a conscious thing. I never do it on purpose, I just naturally eat really sloooow. Which works out well for me because, like you, I LOVE to eat. And it’s nice to really savor every bite. And I can relate to the moment of sadness when they last bite comes! Luckily there is always another snack or meal to be had!

  57. July 30, 2011 3:05 pm

    I totally agree…viewing food in a positive way is a HUGE step in enjoying life.

  58. July 30, 2011 3:20 pm

    I love the phrase “tuckered out” lol…I am going to have to start using that! I can definitely relate. When I was active in my eating disorder I would eat SO slowly because it was literally the only thing I enjoyed. So glad that is over and done with and I can enjoy food!

  59. July 30, 2011 4:14 pm

    “one of the only times I felt happy was when I was eating, and I wanted to milk it for all that it was worth.”

    Oh my gosh! I so felt this was deep in my ed and still do! I’ve spent so long embarrassed to tell people how much I LOVE meals because ed always tells me it’s a sign that I’m “out of control” or something 0_o. But thank you for saying this, I really needed to hear it put into the words that you used. People might think that it’s weird…but a lot of anorexia sufferers really do live to eat.

    xxx

  60. July 30, 2011 9:07 pm

    I’ve relocated four times during the past year, so I can definitely relate to the stresses associated with moving! It sounds like you’ve found a wonderful place though, so hopefully a year from now you’ll be able to look back on this period and smile, knowing that it was all worth it. 🙂

    I am a plate-cleaner. When I prepare my own meals, nothing is left untouched. I use my fingers to swipe up every last splash of sauce, which means I often go through two or three napkins. And you better believe I’m sad when it’s all over! However I occasionally struggle with the question of whether or not I’ve eaten enough. Sometimes my body tells me I’m full when I know I should probably go back for another helping. And sometimes my body tells me I’m hungry when I’ve eaten a larger portion than normal. Giving myself permission to eat more without feeling a twinge of guilt is something I’m still working on.

    As far as speed goes: I think I eat at a relatively normal pace now, however I’ve found that on the rare occasions when my hunger is out of control (such as tonight, after I’d been out all day and depleted my purse snack supply), I have a hard time going slow. I guess it’s that animal instinct–“get food in body as quickly as possible before somebody else comes and takes it!” I have to consciously tell myself to chew all my food before swallowing. This wouldn’t have happened when I was in the depths of my ED, however. Like you, I ate sloooooow. I’d pick apart a Luna bar one soy nugget at a time would stir and re-stir the food around my plate to make it last longer. I’m so glad those days are long gone! Even though the end of my (much shorter) meals induce a bit of sadness, I take comfort knowing that when it comes to eating, “…I get to do it again… and again… and again… and again x infinity…” 😀

  61. July 31, 2011 10:14 pm

    Haha! I’m the same way! Especially when it comes to breakfast…or should I say breakfast food in general…nevermind the time of day it is actually eaten. I know you completely understand my fellow “breakfast for dinner lover”! The saddest part is that as much as I try to slow down during my mealtimes, I always seem to finish in record time! I think it has to do with living an on-the-go life for so long…meals were an afterthought usually eaten while driving to my next “commitment” (school, work, etc) or mindlessly munching while studying or doing at least 297 other things. How sad is it that I can finish any given meal in LESS time than it takes to actually prepare?! Ugh, I really need to work at this some more! 😦

  62. August 2, 2011 12:17 am

    Amanda, I really LOVE your blog! Thank you for all of the hard work and effort you put into each and every post! They have really changed me for the better. I see things differently. I eat more happily. I am happier. Thank you for everything.

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