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. [not] acting my age .

July 16, 2011

Awwr. Thank you guys for sharing some facts with me. You’re all gems πŸ˜€

It was great to learn some more about you, and nice to hear that I’m not the only Disney loving, granny schedule following, emetophobicΒ out there.Β Actually, that’s probably one of the things that I love most about the blog world – it let’s me see that I’m not alone in some of my more… unusual… habits.

And speaking of habits…

But I digress…

Truth be told, I have a pretty hard time relating to the people that I come across in “real life”; and while I have a decent amount of acquaintances, the number of them that I consider true friends is pretty small.

For the most part, I get along with people superficially – friendly on the surface, but it hardly ever goes much deeper than that.Β I always thought that it was because I’m extremely introverted and don’t really enjoy having people around, but the more I think about it, the more I believe that that’s not necessarily the case. I doΒ enjoy the company of others, I simply can’t find a common ground with most of them.

Take today, for example. Saturday. A day where most people my age sleep in past noon, laze about for most of the day, and party for most of the night. But me? I was up before dawn, productive all day, and I’ll probably be in bed by 10:30. Oh, and did I mention that I also decided to bake branΒ muffins?

Bran. As in, the stuff that your grandmother eats. How old am I again?

Too old, apparently, but that’s been the story of my life for as long as I can remember. Even as a young child, I always acted more mature than my years would suggest. Of course I played with toys, believed in Santa Claus, and was incredibly afraid of the dark, but even then I wasn’t really able to relate to my peers. I almost felt more comfortable around adults than I did with kids my own age.

And to be honest, not much has changed.



These days, I still don’t really relate to most of my peers – I actually feel a lot more comfortable interacting with children or people who are a good 20 years older than me than I do with those in my own age group. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it’s because I’m an old soul stuck in a young body.

Or maybe it’s because I can’t seem to grow up.

See, the whole concept of becoming a responsible adult kind of terrifies me. Starting a career. Supporting myself. Getting married. Starting a family… I just don’t feel ready for it. So, I cling to the comforts of my childhood and seek solace in the serenity of seniority (yippee for alliteration!!), just to avoid that uncomfortable in-between phase that I’m not so sure I’ll be able to handle.

Factor in the fact that I don’t drink, I’m not big on partying, I can hardly keep my eyes open past 10 o’clock, and I enjoy quiet evenings at home, and… what’s my age again? I knowΒ it would be wrong to assume that everyone in their 20’s lives that way, but it probably wouldn’t be a stretch to say that my preferred lifestyle isn’t exactly the norm.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I really don’t know how to act my age… if there even isΒ such a thing. Maybe there isn’t. Maybe growing up doesn’t mean abandoning your inner child. Maybe being young doesn’t mean you can’t partake in occasional instances of senioritis. Maybe age is just another useless number that no one should concern themselves with.

Mmm. Yes. I quite like that idea.

And I quite liked my muffins, as well. Grandmotherly or not.

. – . – . – .

Can anyone relate?

92 Comments leave one →
  1. July 16, 2011 5:52 pm

    I hate sleeping in haha! I feel I waste the day. I am always up early and bed early. I wish I could eat bran haha…I have a bit of a sensitive tummy for bran…;)

  2. Rosalie permalink
    July 16, 2011 5:58 pm

    Relate? Girl, I could have written this post, though likely less eloquently, myself. Granted, I’m a fair few years younger than you, being seventeen, but I’m still in that age bracket where partying and going out and having large social circles is “the norm”.
    I really don’t have terribly many close friends. I’ve always had a significant disconnect between myself and my peers. I have grown up with a fairly limited peer-group (a graduating class of 250 or so), but even so, I never seem to be able to find people who are operating on quite the same frequency as me. I can, and do, maintain acquaintanceships, but nothing that could really classify as a friendship. And I don’t feel bad about it. I can’t tell if this makes me a robot, or simply an introvert capable of taking solace in silence, but I’ve learned to accept it (and embrace it? I just think differently, and that’s something that makes me me.)
    Who knows what university will hold for me, though? And I’m sure the same can be said for you, as you pursue your higher education (seriously, your intelligence, compassion, and ability to take multiple viewpoints of a situation whilst firmly maintaining your own opinion makes me think you will ROCK as an eating disorder psychology specialist.)

    • July 16, 2011 9:16 pm

      Gush. Thank you Rosalie. That’s so incredibly sweet of you πŸ˜€

      And you should never feel bad about who you are, because there’s definitely nothing wrong with being an introvert or enjoying time alone. As long as you’re fine with it, then that’s all that matters.

  3. July 16, 2011 5:59 pm

    me me me!!! I have been acting 35 since I was about 7. I like to stay home, go to bed early, and wake up early. It’s just who I am!

  4. July 16, 2011 6:03 pm

    When I was in grade/middle school I had no problem getting along with people my age. I loved going to sleepovers, and hanging out with my friends. But that changed in high school when people started drinking and partying and sneaking out at night. I just didn’t find it appealing and I still don’t. Sometimes I try to tell myself to just “be a normal 20 year old” but then I realize there is no normal, I’ve just got an old person heart but that doesn’t mean that I’m not living my life the fullest πŸ™‚

    Those muffins look delish!

  5. Kaila @healthyhelperblog! permalink
    July 16, 2011 6:04 pm

    I can totally relate!!! I feel comfortable with people who are older than me too….I just connect with them better I guess. And I LOVE bran muffins so don’t feel bad about that one at all….they are so delicious.

  6. July 16, 2011 6:06 pm

    This post really hit home for me. I have always felt more comfortable around adults, couldn’t relate to the kids around me, and was a huge homebody. I admit I don’t have many..err any friends that I hang out with on a regular basis. I go to bed around 10 and wake up at 5. I don’t drink and parties/bars are not for me.
    I don’t know many other 20 year olds who live on the same schedule as me. I also don’t know many other people who enjoy working out, eating healthy, and would rather hang out with the family.
    So glad you made a post about this! I feel less alone πŸ™‚

    • July 16, 2011 9:19 pm

      Awwr girl you’re definitely not alone. I think there are tonnes of people who feel this way. The only reason we don’t see ’em is because they keep to themselves and stay home a lot more, so it’s less likely that we’ll run into ’em.

    • jess permalink
      July 17, 2011 6:37 am

      wow, you hit it right on the head for me. thats what i do, im a homebody, love getting up early to work out and eat healthy foods!! i am having the same problem, currently, trying to find friends with these common interests! i am in high school and it seems no one does this!! i would lovee to be able to find someone like you.

  7. July 16, 2011 6:07 pm

    Oh yes, growing up can be rough sometimes. But with more responsibility comes more satisfaction and fulfillment in the things we accomplish.

    btw, your muffins look uhmayzing!

  8. July 16, 2011 6:07 pm

    “I actually feel a lot more comfortable interacting with children or people who are a good 20 years older than me than I do with those in my own age group” <–My exact feeling since I was about 7. I have never met someone else who could relate, it's comforting to know I'm not the only "old person in a young body" haha πŸ˜€
    I always used to think I had issues since I never really got along with kids my own age, but I've come to realize I prefer to stay away because of all the hurt my peers have caused me in the past. I guess unintentionally I veer away from any chance of being hurt?

  9. hannah permalink
    July 16, 2011 6:13 pm

    Believe me you are not alone in feeling like an old soul! struggling with my own recovery i also don’t drink, find myself uncomfortable around people my own age (especially girls) and am up on the weekend before my parents cleaning the house. I’ve often debated weather my shift in behaviours is due to my ED ( i use to sleep till lunch time and drink and party the whole night before) and then suddenly my disorder hit and bam! no more partying, no more drinking and as a result no more friends my own age.

    Iv’e come to terms with who iv’e become, and no longer think that the way i am is abnormal. We are meant to be the way we are for a reason, and you are a very talented beautiful girl, and i would not ruminate on these particular concerns. Just be comforted knowing there are other girls your own age feeling the same way and trying to come to terms with the same issues and doubts (even in Australia:) a million miles away!)

    • July 16, 2011 9:22 pm

      Before my ED hit, I used to stay out all night and sleep ’till noon as well. Then enter ED and a complete 180… but I haven’t found myself wanting to go back to that kind of life even though I’m recovered, so I dunno what that’s all about. I guess this is just who I am, and I’m fine with that πŸ™‚

  10. July 16, 2011 6:14 pm

    I felt like you were writing about MY life! I feel you on just about EVERY single one of these points. I am not the type that likes to sleep in.. lounge around all day.. and do nothing on the weekends. Nor do I start my evenings by pre-gaming to go out the the bar at 9:00. 9:00..seriously? I am already changed into my pajamas and relaxing on the couch by then. You will NOT see me getting my party on. I think you and I would get along VERY well πŸ™‚

  11. sarah permalink
    July 16, 2011 6:22 pm

    YES YES YES I can sooo relate! I also could have written this post( erm,if I could write as well as you).
    I think its just important to accept how you are and what you like doing . I used to do the whole late night partying , clubbing thang- because I basically felt the need to conform with the rest of my age group. Not because I actually enjoyed it. But now I try to live my life in a way that makes me happy- even if its not the norm. Not normal can be be pretty dang good anyway, e.g jam & hummus on top of eggy bananafied oats( I tried it!)= definitely not considered normal(think my mum gagged when she saw what I was having for dinner actually), but its awesome(thankyou)!
    I love those bran muffins- branny things really appeal to me

    • July 16, 2011 9:29 pm

      !!! You tried ’em! Ahh girl, I adore ya πŸ˜€ Straying from the beaten path is definitely the way to go. I don’t have a problem with being the way I am, I think I just like to think too much πŸ˜‰

  12. July 16, 2011 6:28 pm

    I am 15, and boy-oh-boy I am not your “typical” teenager. I get up at 5:30 am. I am in bed by 9:30 pm. The idea of drinking alcohol terrifies me. Drugs? Parties? I’d rather play with my rats. I am vegan (which got a lot of scary comments and questions from my peers when I was in school). I’m an environmentalist, and I bring my klean-kanteen thermous to coffee shops on the rare occasion I even hang out with someone my own age (where I get tea anyway, because I don’t like coffee). I homeschool, and already know my passions and my mission in life. Most of my true friends are age thirty or over, and they all say I am so “mature”. i don’t know– am I “mature for my age”, or am I just different? Despite the fact that I haven’t hit over 1 1/2 decades, I am frustrated by my lack of legal ability to lead the lifestyle I desire to choose. I don’t know a lot of kids my own age, who are friends that is, and when I see someone my own age around I get sort of nervous. Unless I know someone really well, I want to get out of the sight line of another teen as fast as possible (most of the time)!

  13. July 16, 2011 6:30 pm

    I’m the in bed by 10 up by 5 kind of girl myself so I can totally relate!

  14. July 16, 2011 7:04 pm

    Haha, I love this post of yours!

    On a side note, I love your blog! I have been reading for the last 3 weeks and haven’t had the guts to write a comment (I am new to the blog world), but I loved this post soo much that I decided,”why not, what have I got to lose?”

    sooo, about your last question, the answer is…I completely relate! That is why I love this post! Eating healthier, baking, drinking tea, going to bed at 9 (gasp! I even fall asleep while guests are still at our house) and getting up a 5 make my “peers” think I am crazy. So I hang out with kiddies mostly. And nerdy adults. I am still figuring out why I get along with them.

    No parties, drugs, alcohol, soda, cussing, gossiping, or bad talking people for me. Hence, I am doomed to a life of loneliness when it comes to people my age :/ I know you understand. Actually, apparently a lot of people understand. And that is what have loved about the blog world so far! You can find people like you and know you aren’t alone in the world or accidentally born into the wrong time period! (There would way too many accidents if that were the case as I am discovering).

    Hope this makes you feel better about your abnormalities πŸ™‚ I’m thinkn’ that it’s what we’re here for πŸ™‚

    Your Bran muffins look delish!

    • July 16, 2011 9:39 pm

      Thank you for your comment, Maxwell πŸ˜€ Don’t be scared to de-lurk, because you have some wonderful things to say. The blog world is definitely a great place to find like-minded people… I just wish we were all closer together!

  15. July 16, 2011 7:13 pm

    Amanda I love you! haha. Seriously, I relate to you so much here.
    Since I was a kid my dad has been calling me “old soul” and it’s true, my thoughts have always been way ahead of my age. While other kids my age are out partying, sleeping in, lying to their parents. I’m baking at home, up by 7, hell mostly 6, and whenever I engage in conversation with kids at school I feel completely distant – I just don’t care for who’sgoingoutwithwho or what so and so is wearing. I have better conversations with adults who I can learn things from ya know?
    I could probably actually go on and on and on about non-teenage like ways..

    I’ve always been this way and for so long I’ve tried to pretend to act like a “normal teenager” but clearly that didn’t work out for me. I have peers at school who I hang out with around there and I’m not lonely or anything but I don’t waste my time hanging out with people I can’t relate too anymore.

    • July 16, 2011 7:15 pm

      P.s. This is why I freaking love the blog world! I never thought I would “meet” people who felt the way I did – but look at all the above comments!
      Gah, it makes me so happy πŸ™‚

  16. July 16, 2011 7:14 pm

    RELATE 100%. I always thought there was something wrong with me as well because I just could not connect at ALL with people my own age, like even a year or two age difference made it sooo much easier! I also go to bed at 9:30 and wake up early on weekends-my younger brother and sister make fun of me every single day. and I’m going to join you in bran muffins tonight, as long as I can crank them out before crashing at 10!

  17. July 16, 2011 7:29 pm

    Oh yes, I can relate. I’m 23 and for the first time in my life I moved out of my parents’ place (had to because I found a job after graduating) and am just now beginning to experience “going out” and drinking at bars… But its not my ideal way to spend time! I don’t like drinking, I never meet people who I click with it seems, so the whole time I feel like I’m being fake and trying to be outgoing when I’d really rather lounge around at home!

    I know my ed made me a hermit all through college and now that I’m trying recovery on my own and still am haunted by disordered thoughts (more so since I miss my family so much and fear all this change that comes with officially being a grown up) its still so hard to try to act “normal” as in being super social and going out on weekends.

    I want to live my life to the fullest (whatever that really means!) And don’t want to someday look back with regret like I do on my college years because of ed, but… I seem to like my life a lot when I have the time to myself to wander around a new park, go shopping, or read a book… Without having to chatter aimlessly about guys or work or whatever with someone while doing all those things!

    • July 16, 2011 9:50 pm

      Girl, if you don’t enjoy it, then you shouldn’t force yourself to do it just as an attempt to be “normal”. Living life to the fullest means something different for everyone. To some people it’s going out to parties, and to others it’s enjoying peaceful nights alone. Neither one is better than the other, it just depends what YOU like.

  18. July 16, 2011 7:30 pm

    All my friends I act too mature for my age…that I’m quite “different.” I disagree though. I think I’m just introverted, and I’m just interested in other things compared to them.

    By the way, the honey says “buckwheat” on it. Is it a special kind of honey?

    • July 16, 2011 9:53 pm

      Yep! Honey tastes different depending on what flower the pollen comes from. Buckwheat honey come from buckwheat flowers, and it’s one of my favorites πŸ™‚

  19. July 16, 2011 7:30 pm

    Oh my gosh, YES. I am everything you just described – bar the going to sleep early thing.
    “I don’t drink, I’m not big on partying, I can hardly keep my eyes open past 10 o’clock, and I enjoy quiet evenings at home” = my life.

    So many of my friends at college regularly get wasted, party till dawn, and think a 3am bedtime on a WEEKday is early. I am the exact opposite. I never drink (I just think alcohol tastes vile, and honestly, what is the point?), and I hate dirty, loud, inebriated frat parties where the floors are coated in vomit, the hallways are packed, and the people you are thrust into are all drenched in sweat. I would MUCH rather a relaxed evening at home, watching a movie, baking, reading, doing my nails…

    I’ve never truly felt comfortable with other people around my age, except for a select few who are themselves teetotalers and/or very mature. I think it’s because I grew up as an only child and have spent more time with adults than children my own age. I find it sad, sometimes, that I never had a typical carefree, fun childhood, but I suppose it was for the best – I mean, I am more mature, responsible, and thoughtful than many of my peers, so I suppose if you lose some, you always gain some.

  20. July 16, 2011 7:57 pm

    Oh my goodness. How do I NOT relate to this??! I am one hundred percent like you, deary. It sucks not being able to connect to people around you. I can mingle, but I don’t really get into deep friendships that easily. There are one or two people who I am very close with, but that’s it. I am looking forward to going to a different college this fall and meeting people who are, hopefully, more like me!

    It’s Saturday night and I am getting ready to read and then go to sleep. πŸ™‚ I also got up at 6 am this morning and ran in a 5k at 8am. Much better than trying to cure a hangover and sleeping in until 12 like most people our age!

  21. July 16, 2011 7:57 pm

    I too am a grandmother. I go to bed at like ten and wake up early.
    Oat bran = the best.

  22. July 16, 2011 8:13 pm

    Yes! I’m the only one of my friends who never sleeps in…I just physically can’t- and staying out late/all night is such a struggle for me. Now that I’ve been living at home since graduating I usually go to bed before 11pm and rise by 7- but even in college I would never sleep in past 8 on weekends…I get too hungry and need my coffee πŸ™‚
    Oh well…my moods also fluctuate in terms of how ‘mature’ i feel- I’m pretty homey and lowkey a lot of the time but I definitely have my times when I’m in the mood to get dressed up and have a night on the town πŸ™‚

  23. Lilly permalink
    July 16, 2011 8:14 pm

    Can I relate? ummm… you basically described me! And looking at the comments I feel so much less alone. I just turned 21 and didn’t drink on my birthday (or ever really) and people my age could not get over that. I went out to a a super amazing dinner had delicious food and dessert and was in bed by 10:30 πŸ™‚ I sometimes feel weird about it when others bring it up or comment on my “not so normal” 20 year old lifestyle, but hey that’s me. PS send some bran muffins this way!

  24. July 16, 2011 8:15 pm

    Age is less of how many years we’ve been on this earth and more of how you feel, act and think! I, too, am a mix of young and old that somehow averages out to 27 (which I am, but rarely act)! And don’t worry about being “old” enough to get a job, support yourself, get married and all that future stuff. When I found my husband, I knew it was a match made in heaven…we’re kids together!

  25. July 16, 2011 8:23 pm

    you know i’m right there with ya πŸ˜‰ but you know what…i don’t regret my “wild days” one bit. i’m glad i did things i shouldn’t have, stayed out late and partied it up. i may not be that way any more…but i’m glad i arrived to where i am now by my own choices, having already “been there, done that,” y’know?! i almost feel like it’s just a part of growing up.

    now bloggers just need to all re-locate to some place we can all wake up early and go to bed early πŸ˜›

  26. Meaghan permalink
    July 16, 2011 8:26 pm

    It was so completely strange reading that post and feeling like I could have written it. Seriously, everything you wrote about explains me dead on. I’ve just recently been getting into the blog world and it so cool to be able to read about/discover people who share ALL the same interests as me. I just thought I would write and let you know you’re definitely not alone!
    PS. those bran muffins look awesome! i don’t usually make them because no one else in my family likes them..

  27. beckafly permalink
    July 16, 2011 8:29 pm

    I can relate completely! I’ve always been an early riser and often get funny looks when I admit to happily waking up at 5am and then heading off to bed at 10pm. I sometimes can’t even make it past 9:30-an hour that seems much too early for someone in their 20s.

    I’ve often had the same thoughts on acting my age. I know most people my age would rather be out drinking, partying or doing whatever. I still love to watch cartoons (I’m ready for Captain planet at 6am!), I still go to playgrounds and run around, and I’ve often found the entertainment of our childhood is just as good now. My roommate and I have stayed up watching cartoons and coloring in coloring books. Kids have the right idea! Though some of my interests seem old or old fashioned. I love to sew, quilt, and read.

    I have a lot of friends who are a lot older than me, and also a fair amount of friends younger than me. I sometimes find I have more in common with them than my own peers. It’s interesting, I think its a maturity thing. You’re mature for your age, and I feel the same way. There’s a gap between the maturity of children and the maturity of an older adult. Some peers are more interested in things like drinking, hooking up etc, but I have no interest in it and I’d rather sit and enjoy a cup of coffee with my pastor and talk about life.

  28. July 16, 2011 8:37 pm

    90% of your blog posts I relate to, this one in particular however, I feel as though its 110% me, and actually felt as though it was me that wrote it. I always feel that way about my friend group, the majority of them, as horrible as it is, I truly cannot relate to, and find that they are more acquaintance than anything. To count my real friends on even one hand is also very small. I have a hard time relating to people around me, then I read blogs and I’m like “wow, this person I’d so be friends with” it really sucks.

    As for the Bran I was thinking of that yesterday. Instead of adding oats to some milk yesterday I added Bran, because truthfully I’ve loved the stuff ever since my mom introduced it to my diet when I was about six. When I brought my breakfast to work with me, my friend (and this is actually a real friend, which sucks since I’ll be moving back home soon and have never gotten along with anyone as well as her before, other than our food choices haha) asked me what I asked was having for breakfast and wrinkled her nose when I said Bran. I love bran, it’s probably my second, no scratch that it IS my second favourite grain, and I will always choose a bran muffin, especially cranberry blueberry bran muffin over anything else. I’ve been called a grandma for so many years now, and thought it was a bad thing for so long, but I now know otherwise, I embrace the fact that I am so conscious of my health where my “friends” are staying out late, drinking, hurting their livers, and sleeping in all day, where as I drink 2-3 times a year, wake up (yes, before dawn) start working out and start my day right. Be proud of that fact!


  29. July 16, 2011 9:02 pm

    I’m the exact same way! I’m almost 19 and my first year of college was a huge shock for me! I knew people liked to party, but it seemed like it was all anyone wanted to talk about. I felt lame going to bed at 11 every night and waking up early on the weekends. But why should I feel bad for being a little mature for my age? Partying just isn’t my thing–I like catching up with friends over some Starbucks or watching The Office or doing something active outside. And there shouldn’t be any shame in that! Thank you so much for writing this post because I don’t feel so alone and “old” πŸ˜‰

  30. July 16, 2011 9:07 pm

    All weirdos have blogs πŸ˜€ . Really, in real life I don’t know anybody with the same habits as mine. When I tell people at what time I wake up in the morning, they think I’ve lost my mind. Even when I stay up late on special occasions, I still don’t wake up later than 7 a.m. I do a lot of things that aren’t typical for people my age and it is not unexpected that finding friends is a hard task. But I am happy I finally learned that trying to be like everyone else is not what I should do. Being myself feels so much better. And if there are people of the same kind in the blog world, then I must believe that I will eventually meet some of them in real life, too πŸ™‚ .

  31. ittybitsofbalance permalink
    July 16, 2011 9:21 pm

    PLEASE. I am the freaking QUEEN of all grandmas! I’m 21 and wake up before my friends and stay in on some nights so I can spend quality time with my bed! I’m also known to down prunes on occasion as well πŸ˜‰
    Us grandmas are just that much cooler than everyone else πŸ˜‰

  32. July 16, 2011 9:32 pm just described me to a tee.

  33. July 16, 2011 9:39 pm

    I am always up at the crack of dawn! I am just a morning person and love to enjoy a whole day rather than sleep in ; )

    Loving the bran muffins, did you put PB on top of any of those bad boys, how yummy that would be too, Im sure you did ; )

    I actually have a lot of friends older than me, I grew up pretty fast, since I had my son so young, and I relate and get a long better with older people due to that especially : )

    Love ya girl! I hope you hit up some Lululemon this weekend too, I know you said you might!

    xoxo ❀

  34. July 16, 2011 9:54 pm

    I think you know that I act like a total 5 year old on occasion. Though I can relate to you in that I get along well with adults. I don’t drink or party, and I find myself not necessarily being able to relate to a lot of people. But adults- I can hold a conversation with an adult for hours. Don’t get me wrong, though- I do have some great friends my age that I definitely get along with. But like you said, there are few.

    I have some great blog-y friends, though! -hinthintwinkwink-

    But then again I’m afraid to grow up. I fear supporting myself and living on my own too. Everything is puppies and rainbows when your parents to all the worrying, you know?

    I know you’ll be great on your own. It’s scary- but you’re so strong and smart. I know you’ll be absolutely fabulous.


  35. July 16, 2011 10:00 pm

    I love to spend my time at home — with a small group of people (ideally just me and Jason to be honest!) at most. Going out terrifies me sometimes — I get so anxious and worried that I prefer to stay in. I have a few close friends that I would do ANYTHING for, but that is about it. And I’m ok with that!

  36. July 16, 2011 10:04 pm

    Ha! Could not believe when I read this post! It was like I had written it ;)… I am exactly the same way! I don’t party, drink, smoke… and it is so hard to find people to relate too ;). I have a lot of “adult” friends and honestly feel more like an “adult.” Infact… dare I say my mom is my best friend? My problem though, is that at first glance people usually think I am like 15 or 16, when I am actually almost 20 :/. Aw… isn’t the blog world nice?! There are actually people out there like me! πŸ˜‰

    • July 17, 2011 7:25 am

      Me and my momma are tight, too πŸ˜‰ And people can’t usually believe it when I tell them how old I am. I used to hate looking so young, but I’ll probably love it when I’m 40 and look like I’m 25 πŸ˜€

  37. July 16, 2011 10:13 pm

    I’m totally an old lady and I always have been! Not only do I look older than my age (or so most people say) but I have always acted that way. I get up super early, eat pureed foods, eat dinner at 5, enjoy doing the dishes, and got to bed early. i’m the same way with friends because i don’t want to go out and party every single weekend, so I don’t hang out with a lot of people that i know.

  38. Laura permalink
    July 16, 2011 10:29 pm

    I think you just described my life. Though I’m writing this at 12:30 at night, every other night in the past year, I’ve been asleep by 11, and usually by 10. I’ve never related well to peers at all. I can get along, but it always seems as if I’m more mature and think about differen things, have different interests, and usually their conversations seem to focus around things I couldn’t really care about. I relate better to people who are older than me. I don’t drink either, I wake up early, I’d rather talk with someone or read a book than go out partying. And I love bran muffins too. They’re honestly my favorite muffin, after blueberry. I really related to you completely about feeling unable to relate to most people in real life. It’s good to know someone else feels the same way.

  39. Lenna (veganlenna) permalink
    July 16, 2011 10:40 pm

    Age is definitely the second most useless number after the weight! I so relate to what you have written. You know, I love baking, I love creating a lot of my own stuff, I wake up around 5 a.m. and I am in bed no later than 10.30. I go to a party maybe twice a year. ItΒ΄s always been so much easier to me to talk to people who are much older. Even now at my work place I I feel much better around ladies who are 45 – 50 than around those who are almost my age. But at the same time I love children books, colouring pages, Disney characters, my teddy bears collection… It is a bit schizophrenic so I stopped thinking about acting my age in order not to get crazy. I just act as I want to.

  40. sunshinevegan permalink
    July 16, 2011 10:45 pm

    I can TOTALLY relate to this. I am kind of shy and introverted as well and only have a few people I would really even consider acquaintences in high school. It feels like girls my age are kind of mean and spiteful and haven’t really grasped what’s actually important in life yet. Doesn’t make me better than them, just on a different plane of awareness.
    I don’t understand why girls like to bring each other down so much or engage in bad behaviors like drinking and partying to seem cool or fit in, but that is pretty much the norm at my school, which is sad 😦 I guess people don’t really know what to think of me! Except that they know I’m a really fast runner and say I have cute clothes and am skinny. I don’t like how high-schoolers judge though. But I know it’s
    not the real world and I’ll be done in 2 years.

  41. July 16, 2011 11:38 pm

    Girl, you just WROTE my lief. Especialy the part about not being able to grow up but simultaneously being a grandma… my computer is being super slow otherwise I’d elaborate but I’m very much in the same boat (though I think it’s causing me more angst than it may be to you haha).

    you are wonderful. πŸ™‚ and I LOVE bran muffins!

  42. July 16, 2011 11:52 pm

    hahaha i love your little grandma habits.

    there are some things i can relate to, like not loving partying or staying out really late, and i definitely feel rifts between other people my age, but ultimately, i think for me personally, it’s really important for me to cultivate relationships with people my age and be around people everyday. it keeps me sane! i can be pretty introverted but i definitely love socializing and just hanging out with girlfriends!

  43. July 17, 2011 1:11 am

    Sheesh. You just spoke what’s been on my mind lately. I’ve felt like I am a social bum. I think it originally stemmed from my fear of going to people’s houses, events, hang outs, parties and etc, because I knew there would be food there…. I mean, I’ve always been introverted, but I still loved to go to people’s houses and hang out. Until the disordered eating hit. Consequently, over the past few years, i’ve isolated myself a lot from social situations, and have not really made any solid friendships/relationships with people. Now, as I’m in recovery, I’ve really been longing for friendship, and people to hang out with and do things with, but I feel like I don’t have any friendships, other than acquaintances, because I didn’t allow myself to get too involved before. It has made me really sad lately, because I feel like people in the blog world would be such awesome friends in real life. But my ‘friends’ in my actual social circle don’t get me, have similar interests, have much in common, or etc. I’ve been thinking about how I wished I could find a friend who is the type of person who gets me…who understands me, who can encourage me, but still call me out on my crap. The type of friend who I can call when I just reached a new distance in running and they’ll be super excited for me (instead of not understand why I love to run so much), or the type of friend who I can call when I create a recipe that tastes BOMB (instead of wondering why I love food so much, and instead of thinking I’m ‘obsessed’ with eating healthy). Someone who values the things I value. I long for a friend like that. But….most people my age don’t have similar interests. Most people my age don’t have the values I have…they don’t enjoy doing the same things I enjoy doing, nor do they relate to me, or I relate to them. So….I totally understand, unfortunately.

  44. July 17, 2011 1:25 am

    I can totally relate. I have 3 older brothers and I’ve always been surrounded by older people. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend that was younger than me! My habits and mentality in some ways differ a lot from most people my age, which sometimes makes me feel weird.

  45. buttonss permalink
    July 17, 2011 1:30 am

    We seem slightly similar you and I.
    I wouldnt call many of the people I know ‘friends’. Im also up at 5:30 in bed by 10:30.. those exact times, everyday. Its like clock work. and I love it.
    Its funny you post this, I was about to talk about something similar.

  46. July 17, 2011 1:54 am

    Out of all my friends, we always joke that im the granny! My ‘sleeping in’ means sleeping till 10pm max and I’m always yawning by midnight!

  47. July 17, 2011 5:02 am

    I can totally relate…I love the summer but find it frustrating that it’s too light out to go to sleep at 8:30pm! I’m accused of being a “hermit” at school and often forgo the party scene to read a book and wake up early for a morning run. Sometimes I think I’m mature for my age and other times I think I’m a little immature for my age…either way, I wish some of the other twenty year olds would stop focusing on getting black out and share some of my interests!

    • July 17, 2011 7:41 am

      Haha I totally know what you mean about being frustrated with long summer days. It drives me crazy that it’s still bright out when I want to sleep!

  48. July 17, 2011 5:21 am

    Thankyou, thankyou, THANKYOU so much for writing this post! I was starting to feel like such an oddball. It’s especially difficult for me being a student and thankfully my first year has gone now where I had to live in halls with party animals but god, it was the hardest time of my life. I don’t drink, I don’t party, I like my sleep, I eat healthy and exercise and none of them got it at all. And as much as I try and get on with my peers, I just find them..childish? I love having a more intelligent conversation with someone my parents age! In fact, I’d probably say my parents are my best friends. Oh and my mum calls me a granny because I love dried fruit and she says old people like dried fruit haha! And the same with having muffins in the afternoon like granny’s have a slice of cake in the afternoon! But hey, it’s what I love ❀ But then at the same time it's really hard because I don't look my age and most people think I'm like 16 or something and expect me to be all silly so it's really frustrating..

    • Adara permalink
      July 17, 2011 5:42 am

      I AM 16, and I don’t act like that… I have been told I am too old for my age (I have almost all the “old people” habits and hobbies), but since I am really tall (five foot six) and have short hair and glasses lots of people ask me what college I go to, or old dudes try and flirt with me (It gets pretty awkward when people like shelf restockers try and pick me up…).

      • July 17, 2011 6:38 am

        I’m FIFTEEN ad people ask me what college I go to (and I am only five foot five!). I even got asked that stuff when I was 14 sometimes. Although I have no idea if older guys flirt with me (I’ve had my suspicions…) becuase I am a total novice when it comes to identifying that sort of thing ;).

  49. July 17, 2011 5:26 am

    I push myself to go out sometimes because it always seems worth it in the end, but I definitely know what you’re saying. Usually I’m up by 6:30 and in bed by 10:30 πŸ™‚

  50. Adara permalink
    July 17, 2011 5:32 am

    You sound almost exactly like me, except for the fact that it is even worse in my case because I am only in my mid teens and I also drink tea, garden, sew, work with clay, bake, read advanced or educational books, etc. in addition, ever since I was tiny. If that wasn’t enough, I am vegan because of G.I. issues so not only am I “an old lady”, but my dad likes to call me a “crunchy vegan” (no idea what that is supposed to mean) and humiliate me when random people\ relatives come over. 😦
    Ah well, at least I’m not doing drugs, messing around with boys, getting drunk\high at parties, failing at school and generally messing up myself like all the rest of the kids my age that I know….

    • July 17, 2011 6:42 am

      I agree with Adara (holla fellow granny teen! Although if so many of us are “granny’s” it’s not really a granny habit anymore, is it?)

  51. Ellie permalink
    July 17, 2011 5:39 am

    Umm.. okay, so you just totally described me! I’ve felt kind of weird about my introverted personality, about not having much friends (’cause I can’t simply relate to them or find much things in common) and about my healthy food and exercise habits… until I found your blog πŸ™‚ I am also in the process of recovery from and ED and I can say that reading your blog is very helpful for me. So thank you Amanda for being such a great person and keep up those great posts! I love your blog.. πŸ™‚

  52. July 17, 2011 5:45 am

    last night I went to bed at 10:30 and got up at 6:30, typical Sat. for me πŸ™‚ At one point I was thinking I would try to change my sleep schedule so I could “meet more people” my age. When I was younger and partied a lot, I had TONS of friends. Although, I have my boyfriend I ABSOLUTELY MISS connecting with people SO MUCH! I LOVE being social but not on a “surface level” as you said, I look truly connecting with other people. The problem is…. I find it hard to meet people I Have things in common with now. It’s frustrating beyond belief and I cant sub my need for connecting with others in the blog world. Its just not REAL enough for me. I cant have 850 long distance friendships! haha…Dont get me wrong, I love my blogger friends but it’s different when you can actually sit down and talk with someone FACE TO FACE. In the end, i decieded against changing my sleep pattern so I could meet people. WHY? Because I shouldnt have to change who I am in order to make friends. Thats a bit fake, no? I have hope that eventually I will meet people that I connect more with. I’m transferring schools next year for my dietetics program and im REALLY hoping that I will meet LOTS of people (or just a few) that I have things in common with. In the mean time….I guess i’m just a loner! It’s not so bad though. I quit enjoy spending time alone with a good book πŸ˜‰


  53. July 17, 2011 6:25 am

    Yes yes yes! I used to enjoy staying out til 3 am and drinking, but I just can’t do it anymore! Sometimes I kind of miss doing those sorts of things though… now I feel like I’m missing out or something. And I definitely feel like it’s made me more introverted. Lately I’ve been trying to have a few fun, late nights where I just let loose and be my old self. Like last night I went to a party til midnight and drank 1 mixed drink. I got pretty tired, but I still had fun! I’m going to balance it out with early bedtimes for the rest of the week though lol!

  54. July 17, 2011 6:42 am

    I can really relate to this, I’m a total old lady and had my party animal days a long time ago. Now I’m much happier going to bed early with a book, getting up early and running, spending time in my own company and just chilling out and doing the things that make me happy rather than the things I think should make me happy if you know what I mean!

  55. July 17, 2011 6:56 am

    Amanda – you definarely are not alone! I can totally relate. I believe age is just a frame of mind – another useless number in my book! I too have a small number of close friends, prefer waking up early and definately do not act my age! But i guess we are all unique with different lifestyles – why do we have to fit a “particular mold” – to each their own is my belief! As long as younare happy thats the most important thing!
    Those muffins look fabulous!

  56. July 17, 2011 7:00 am

    it’s a pretty deep subject isn’t it!! i have a few core group of close friends and over the past year i have really become focused on trying to allow myself to open up more and expand my social circle. my best friend is literally addicted to people and if there were a clinical addiction classification for it, i would use her as a guide…and that’s not to be mean because i actually am so intrigued by her philosophy of friendship and she definitely has a joy of life that comes from her relationships. we both agree that no matter how many people you are acquainted with, having a stable core group of friends (whether its one or 4) is so important. i think for myself, i was always afraid to trust people i didn’t know and let them into my life because i knew it was scary for me to allow people i didn’t know to love me because i didn’t think the world could (may seem weird but i guess more people feel this way than i thought)… but when i saw that i could love a stranger and form a true friendship from that, it really opened my eyes. and now i see how much of my personality has grown from learning from the personalities of so many others of different backgrounds and beliefs! it’s really cool!

    xoxo ❀

  57. July 17, 2011 7:14 am

    I don’t usually comment, but I just have to say that this post absolutely describes me as well! I always feel like I’m 22 going on 40, mainly because my prime pursuits border on the middle-aged as well haha. A good Saturday, in my mind, involves waking up at 8, having breakfast while reading the paper, baking bread and going for a leisurely walk around the neighbourhood, then reading a book until I’m tired enough to go to bed, at 10:30 or 11! Needless to say, it certainly feels like the exception to the 20-something rule πŸ™‚ Thanks for writing this, it’s good to know I’m not the only one who bakes bran muffins for a good time!

  58. July 17, 2011 7:48 am

    Yet again, I so know where you’re coming from! I get on 10x better with people twice my age, and I just feel awkward and unsure around people my age. I don’t drink, I don’t party, and I like quiet nights in. I don’t really like having friends around my house, (ok, I hate it!) cos I like my sleep and getting up at a reasonable hour and being productive. BUT I am very scared about actually Growing Up, like you said. It’s very odd :/
    & I love that this post is literally EXACTLY how I feel πŸ™‚ Your mind is my mind! Or something less creepy sounding…

  59. July 17, 2011 8:16 am

    I wish I could fall asleep at 10, and get up at 05.30! Im more like falling asleep at 1 or 2, but still waking up between 5 and 7- so annoying πŸ˜› But I love early morning hours, and I dont want to waste my day sleeping πŸ™‚
    I like to go outt, but not every weekend like many of my friends does. I rather stay in, make dinner, watch a movie and gossip πŸ™‚

  60. July 17, 2011 8:20 am

    Uh yeahhh, I can totally relate! πŸ™‚
    There has been quite a few instances when I’ve been hanging out with friends where they find things so incredibly funny, yet I just don’t feel like it’s all that interesting/funny. I used to think it was because I was boring (which I know I am…), but I realized that maybe its because I’m just an older person stuck in a younger persons body sometimes. It’s so strange though, because I’m also still a kid at heart a lot of times. I’m just glad to know there are so many more people that feel this way out there! πŸ™‚

  61. July 17, 2011 8:24 am

    I can definitely relate. As proof, I’m 20 and my fiance is turning 34 next month! I’ve always felt far more mature for my age.

  62. July 17, 2011 9:04 am

    Can I relate? Oh goodness, can I ever! In fact, I breathed a huge sigh of relief while reading this post…I thought to myself, “wow, somebody else really understands!” Ever since age 12 or 13, I’ve struggled to relate to people my age. I kept waiting for things to “click”–for that magical moment when I’d *finally* understand the joy, excitement and satisfaction (or whatever it is) that my peers glean from late, drunken nights. I wanted so badly to “fit in,” and grew more and more disappointed when that magic moment never came. Sure, I enjoy going out and socializing–in fact spending time with lively, *genuine* people invigorates me. But I’ll take a movie, popcorn and cup of hot chocolate en casa over crazy, out-of-control nights on the town, alcohol gorge-fests and superficial conversation ANY day (or night). I used to feel insecure about my preferences, but now I know that they’re what make me ME. That’s not to say that I don’t struggle from time to time. Washington DC–especially my neighborhood–is a very young place, and it’s considered abnormal if you’re not out with friends until at least midnight every night of the week. I frequently grapple with the “should I? or shouldn’t I?” scenario, and if I choose the former, I rarely enjoy it. So I’ve learned to go with my gut…Even if choosing to keep most of my evenings tame makes me an outlier in my age category, it’s what feels right to me. Just as our culture tells us that we’re all supposed to be tall and thin, it also demands that we “act our age.” Does that mean culture is right? Heck to the NO! Life would be pretty mundane if those “rules” weren’t challenged. And it would be far less delicious too…Because yummy homebaked bran muffins beat greasy “drunk grub” 100% of the time (in my 60-something-year-old opinion) ;-p

    Hope your weekend has been fab!

  63. July 17, 2011 9:05 am

    I’ve always felt so alone on this! So yes, I can definitely relate. Ever since I was a kid my mum would call me a 102 year old. I guess I’m a really old soul then πŸ˜€ It’s funny though because most people say I look younger than my actual age. I’ve always been very shy so I think that might be a reason why I’ve had trouble really connecting to people, but just like you said, I can’t seem to find common ground. I woke up at 6 today and went to bed at 10:40-ish last night. I bet my grandma’s less grandma like than me!

  64. Erika permalink
    July 17, 2011 11:14 am

    I can definitely relate to that. I like talking and working with kids more than meeting new people my own age sometimes. I feel more confident and useful when I’m helping someone that’s younger than me and sometimes peers can be judgmental and intimidating. On the other end of the spectrum, older people often times have better insight.

    Seems like many people can relate!

  65. July 17, 2011 11:55 am

    Um, hi. We’re the same person. I do drink. but it’s not something that runs my life or even makes frequent appearances. I’ve never been to a club, and both Friday and Saturday this week I was asleep in bed by 10:30. I “slept in” today until 7:00, went grocery shopping and I’m about to bake some brownies for the people in my office. I’ve never ever known how to act my age – but I like it that way!

  66. July 17, 2011 5:04 pm

    I’m 22 and I go to bed before 10. Yeah…

  67. July 17, 2011 8:23 pm

    Okay…you seriously have no idea how much I can relate to this post. More specifically, to the beginning. I loved it when you said you related to people in “real life” superficially, because the same exact thing happens with me. It’s really hard for me to let people in sometimes, and just like you, the number of people I consider true friends is quite small. Acquaintances? Many. True friends? Not so much. But, I guess that’s just the way I am!

    PS- LOVE the muffins!

  68. July 17, 2011 8:32 pm

    I’ve always felt older than I really am. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with that! There is something to be said about being organized and responsible…maybe I’m not as fun as some of my other friends but I’d rather be asleep by 10:30 am and eating bran muffins for breakfast than nursing a hangover at 35!!

  69. Georgia permalink
    July 17, 2011 11:39 pm

    Definitely relate to a lot of this… why is it that I prefer spending time with my mother and her friends more than many of my own? Or older workmates? I seem to have much more fun and laughs and good conversations with these people than with my own peers…
    This whole topic is something that I am finding difficulty in accepting, that I am not like the typical 20-something… but hey, who wants to fit into the typical? We should all own their individual characteristic and good on us for not conforming if the norm doesn’t suit our tastes!

  70. spoonfulofsugarfree permalink
    July 18, 2011 9:55 am

    Oh my gosh I am just like that, too! I just don’t relate to people my age-only really little people or people twice my age…hahaha…oh well. Age is only relative, anyway, so who cares?

    And like Ben Franklin said, “early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise!”

  71. July 18, 2011 11:31 am

    grandmotherly or not.. I bet those muffins rock! and a good muffin transcends labels πŸ™‚ haha and I can totally relate ❀

  72. Sarah permalink
    July 18, 2011 1:22 pm

    Wow, that is EXACTLY how I feel! I struggle SO much relate to people my age or even around my age. I’m 20 and I find myself often calling our neighbor next door to see if their 2 year old wants to come over and have me read books to her or go for a walk or something like that…I’d so much rather be with her than I would another person my age or, lord help me, a BOY. lol
    I think I have the same fears about growing up. I’m afraid of exactly what it means to be an adult and exactly what doing so will require me to give up.

  73. July 19, 2011 3:06 pm

    I know exactly what you mean; I’ve never really been able to get along with people my age for one reason or another. All my friends have always been older than me… and now that most of them have “grown up” and moved on, and I’m still stuck here, I don’t have very many good friends anymore. And other teenagers kinda scare the bejezzers out of me… they’re crazy. I don’t know why, but I’m just not. I don’t have any desire to drink, party, do drugs, break the law, stay up all night, or even go on Facebook… its just not me. I’ve always accepted it as part of my personality, but lately I’m starting to think that its actually really weird and might be a bad thing…


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