. you never know what you have… .
… until you’ve lost it.
I’m pretty sure that most, if not all, of us are familiar with this well known phrase – perhaps even having been unfortunate enough to experience it’s truth first hand. It brings to light the fact that there are so many things in our lives that we take for granted. Our possessions. Our loved ones. Our health. Things that we don’t truly come to appreciate until they’ve been taken away from us, and we’re forced to go on through life without them.
No, I didn’t lose Kaiah – don’t worry.
She’s just mopey because it’s been raining all day and she’s cooped up inside.
Probably one of the most common questions that I get asked is how I manage to stay so strong and motivated in my recovery; how I manage to keep from giving in to bad habits whenever times get rough.
Because I never want to go back to that place again… I never want to lay down for the night and wonder if I’ll wake up in the morning. I never want to feel so physically exhausted that I can’t even muster up enough energy to turn over in bed when I feel uncomfortable. I never want to waste my days watching the clock and obsessing about when/what my next meal will be. I never want to feel so depressed and hopeless that I consider taking my own life because I can’t deal with living it any longer.
That was my life in the depths of my eating disorder, and I never want to go back to it again. I’m so incredibly grateful for everything that I’ve gained in recovery, that I’ll do whatever it takes to hold on to it… which, thankfully, isn’t all that hard because so much good food is involved…
Peaches & Cream Oats – Eggy bananafied steel cut base, frozen peaches, melted coconut butter.
A bowl of Puffins (Hi Nicky! :D), Kashi Honey Sunshine, and puffed wheat with vanilla almond milk and a dollop of strawberry Greek yogurt.
Baked sweet potato with maple syrup, cinnamon, cottage cheese, and roasted almond butter.
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I mean, would you trade any of that for a plate that looked more like this?
If your answer is yes, then I’m afraid we can no longer be friends.
But I wish you well [and hope that you come to your senses].
I had to completely lose my health, and almost my life, before I was able to appreciate just how much a healthy body is worth. I’m not kidding when I say that I’m almost crying tears of joy after every mile I run, or after every weight session I finish, because I still remember a time when I could barely drag myself up the stairs without having to stop in the middle, and when lifting my arms to wash my hair in the shower was almost more than I could handle. Without health, there is nothing. Period.
No happiness. No spark. No life.
An ED, or any sort of disordered belief, tries to convince us that life will be so much better if we just lose those 5 lbs, those 10 lbs, those 20 lbs. Bull
shitpoop. I remember what life was like, and it sure as hell wasn’t any better. That’s why it breaks my heart to see so many girls willingly torture themselves because of this kind of mentality. They slave away at the gym while denying the simple pleasures that good food brings. And for what? To buy jeans that are one or two sizes smaller? Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll take health, happiness, and freedom any day, even if they do come with a bigger pair of pants.
If your body is healthy, appreciate it… because you never know what you have until you’ve lost it…
… and getting it back isn’t always that easy…
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Show your body some gratitude… I love my body because it _______ .